Top 10 Tips To Be Your Authentic Self On The Stage, Without Blowing It!

I Love Public Speaking – Even Though It Still Scares Me.

Johnnie Speaking To Large Group

Johnnie Urban Speaking

There was a time, not to long ago, that I was deathly afraid of public speaking.

I am the most unlikely person to love public speaking, let alone be a speech coach and mentor.

Johnnie in 3rd gradeAs a child, I had developed a speech impediment where I slurred my ss’s. By the time I was in 3rd grade, it was so bad, the school had me in speech therapy.
I can’t complain; it was a rather fun experience.
I remember a very nice lady (probably a speech therapist) sitting down with me in an empty classroom and playing fun games.

I can remember that these games were easy and were designed for me to speak while retraining my tongue to move to the back of my mouth away from my front teeth.

But what I enjoyed the most was the one-on-one attention I received from someone who deeply cared about me.
Don’t get me wrong; it was hard work, and to this day, the slurring returns when I am tired or talk too fast.

I’m telling you this story because I want you to know that regardless of our many flaws, we can still stand up on a stage, in front of a room of people, or even just talk with one person, and embrace those flaws as being our true authentic selves.

In fact, what your audience wants the most is to be able to see the REAL you. Not the perfected you.

That’s why Facebook Live is so popular and works so well for marketing a business. It is because it is real and raw, not scripted or edited.

Avoid The #1 Rookie Speaker Mistake …

There are people out there who need your products and/or services. They are looking for YOU and only YOU!
You are the only one that has a compelling personal story of why you do what you do.
You are the only one who can tell YOUR story.

You have been given natural talents and abilities.

But public speaking is a learned skill.

And maybe public speaking is not one of your natural talents; but public speaking is the best way to get your message noticed to more people, and it also helps you make a significant income.


Here are my favorite Top 10 Tips To Be Your Authentic Self On The Stage, Without Blowing It!

1. Trust who you are at your core.

It will ground you. When you completely surrender to the idea that you are the expert and authority in your field it gives you the right to be on stage. It completely eliminates the imposter syndrome that many speakers feel.

NEWS FLASH! Unless you are a professional performer-You are not a performer! You are a speaker who has a message that is of value to people. Own that, and you will relax and have fun.

2. Have a structure for your speech.

There are many different types of structures to a speech depending on what the purpose of your speech is. I have found that the easiest structure to follow is where there is a beginning, middle, and an end. Just three parts. This structure works when you’re in the beginning stages of learning, but it also works well as a foundational structure that you will be able to fall back on when you find yourself in an impromptu speaking setting.

3. Love your topic.

Don’t we just love to talk about what we are most interested in? We could talk all day about our favorite sport or the vacation we just took. Believe me when I say this, you will not bore your audience if you are engaging and funny. In fact when you master the art of story telling you will not only be more engaging you will get that all elusive feeling of being brilliant.

4. Commit to be committed.

Something I learned when I took Improv classes. When was the last time you were completely committed to something? Was it on your wedding day? Giving birth to a child? Finding a new Job? When you are fully committed to delivering a powerful, funny and/or informative speech, then you will, no questions asked!

5. Dance with the fear.

Researchers say that public speaking is feared more than death. Even I still get a little nervous, even though I love it so much.

We want people to like us and not throw the proverbial tomato at us.

But what do you think happens when you try to stop something, like stop fearing? It creates a void, doesn’t it? And wherever there is a void, you will find that it won’t stay that way for long. Unless you fill it up with something more powerful and hopefully positive.

What could you easily replace fear with? Next time try excitement.

Next time you fear that tomatoes may be coming at you, just imagine that you are going to catch them, take them home and make a salad.

6. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

A really great statement that has profound positive effects with people who take it on and use it. And, yes, it is the title of a book by author Mike Robbins.

Being your authentic self is a desire yet an oxymoron – read more

When you can deeply understand that you are speaking to an audience that wants to meet the REAL you, it will allow you to relax, have fun, and deliver your amazing message with style and grace.

Today’s audiences want the real you, not some performer that has over-rehearsed a part in a play.

7. Self-deprecating humor.

According to Wikipedia, this is the act of reprimanding oneself by belittling, undervaluing, or disparaging oneself, or being excessively modest. It can be used in humor and to release tension.

It can also be a form of humorous sarcasm. Which I find personally find funny. Example: “Dang, you’re all so smart, studying for the test; I’m probably going to fail.” *Says the straight A student.*

Have fun with it, but be careful to not use it too much. Putting yourself down for the sake of humor will not work if you’re fishing for a compliment and will make you look like you have poor self-esteem.

8. Touch people’s heart with stories.

Stories have a way of magically transporting someone to a different place and time. They suspend time and can act as invisible selling. Telling a story in the beginning of your speech will allow people to relax and settle in to listen to what you are going to say in the rest of your speech. Especially if the story is a journey story about you.

Here is a little tip inside the tips: everyone has a hero’s story. You know the one. Where at one time their life was like that, and then something happened that caused them to rise above the awfulness, and here they are today ready to share it with you.

Next time try this. Tell a story about why you do what you do. Your purpose, your BIG WHY. Example: In a nutshell, my big why is all about taking care of and helping people. When I was a child, I was always drawn to people who seemed sad and all alone. No matter where I was – at the grocery store, church, school – I would deeply feel empathy that they were alone and sad. I would go to them and quickly get them to feel valued.

9. Pepper conversations with pieces of your speech.

Share pieces of your speech with anyone and everyone. The more you use it, the more you will remember it and not have to rely on notes. Your speech will then flow like you’re having an engaging conversation with an interested person. The reason I said pepper is because you will just want to use small snippets of your speech sprinkled throughout your conversation to prevent listeners overwhelm.

10. Practice, practice, practice.

There are formulas out there for how much time you should practice, but what I’ve found is that everyone is different. Some people write a speech once and can immediately deliver it. Some people need a lot more time.

It’s best to practice your speech for the purpose of timing it. Most presentations have a time slot. If you go over that time, you will annoy your audience. If you go too much under the time, they may feel cheated.


In my courses I help people understand what there primary learning modality is. Do you prefer visual, auditory or kinesthetic learning?



Visual learners can recall information that is delivered in a visual manner. Pictures, drawings, reading or writing words, pencil/ pen to paper, not typing.



Auditory learners learn easier if they can hear the speech. This is where I suggest they record their practice sessions and listen to them.


Kinesthetic learners learn best if they are able to move around while they are learning.




One of the best reasons to understand learning styles is that when you are speaking, you will learn to be able to speak to all the learning styles in your audience so that they will hear you from their learning preference.


Avoid The #1 Rookie Speaker Mistake …


One more little story:

As I finish here, I am reminded of one more tip.

When we speak to an audience, there will be distractions, guaranteed!

Right now, as I am trying to finish this blog for a deadline, I am being challenged by the noise and interruptions of construction workers out on my porch.

On one hand, I am grateful that the repair work is finally getting done, yet on the other, “Why NOW?!”

Distractions happen. A very real benefit to you is to practice staying on task and focus when it happens. Then when you are on the stage, it will be one more thing you won’t have to stress about when it happens.

These are my all time favorite Top 10 Tips To Be Your Authentic Self On The Stage, Without Blowing It!

Keep in mind that when you can add value, be fun, embrace story telling all while being in a flowing structure you will be sought out as an amazing professional speaker who will not only be invited to speak but will also be asked back and paid well.


By the way, I am in the process of developing my online Authentic Speaker Training program. It will be called Speeches that Convert.

Would you like to be part of the launch process?

I have an easy yet comprehensive survey that I created just for you.

As a thank you for helping out you will be one of the first to receive special launch pricing.

Your responses and feedback will help with the development and design of the course so that it is a perfect fit for you and others like you.

Click HERE for APS Course Creation Survey 


Johnnie Urban CEO

Wonderful life Learning Intl.

Authentic Public Speaker

Johnnie Urban

P.S. Be sure to check out Avoid The #1 Rookie Speaker Mistake

P.S. P.S. If you feel that this information has been of value to you I bet you have some entrepreneurial friends who would also love it. Go ahead and foreword it to them.

“English is like, totally fun to learn, you know?”
If you take out the words “like,” “totally” and “you know” from that sentence, you’re left with a perfectly understandable sentence:

English is fun to learn.

So what’s the point of all those extra words, then?
Words like “totally” and phrases like “you know” are called filler words, and they’re used, like, literally all the time.
You’ve probably heard lots of filler words being used in conversations or in movies and TV shows. These might not seem useful, but they are actually a pretty important part of the English language, especially in American English.
Filler words can be an English learner’s best friends, if you use them correctly and not too often.

What Are Filler Words?

Filler words are words (and phrases) that are used to fill silence when you’re speaking. They’re words that don’t add any real value to the sentence. They simply keep you going while you come up with the rest of your sentence.
Their actual name is “discourse markers,” but they’re much more commonly known as “filler words.”
You might already use filler words without realizing it. When you can’t think of the right word to use in a sentence, you might say “umm.”

This gives you a break while you think, without an awkward, silent pause.
Since filler words don’t really add any meaning to the sentence, you don’t need to think about using them. This leaves your brain free to think of other things—like the word you’re trying to remember.

Building Confidence

Most beginning speakers are afraid of pauses. They believe their audience will think they are inarticulate if they pause to think of what to say next, so they use filler words to avoid the silence. However, a pause is actually more impressive than a filler word. Listeners know that the speaker is thinking, trying to find the right word.
They respect this. Sometimes a pause can actually improve a speech, as when an actor uses a dramatic pause to rivet the attention of his audience.
A speaker shouldn’t be afraid to pause occasionally during a speech; it shows self-confidence.

Johnnie Urban, author and speaker trainer says,
“I remind myself that I have the floor and that nobody is going to interrupt me,” she also adds, “I tell myself that it’s okay to be silent. When I’m collecting my thoughts, I believe I appear more cerebral and deep in thought if I remain silent for a second or two. I appear to be the wise professor who is about to say something profound. I find that the audience will sit up and pay more attention. I tell myself that what seems like a long pause to me is probably a short pause to those in the audience.”

Brittany Hoff Gill of the Eagle Toastmasters in Eagle, Idaho, believes the way a speaker views the situation also affects the “ah” quotient. “Filler words generally come in when you don’t view the presentation as a conversation,” she says. “This makes you nervous and tense, and then you have a tendency to use filler words.”

 Public Speaking Emotions

Use Filler Words in Moderation

Like with anything else, you could use filler words too much. Overusing filler words (using too many, too often) can make you sound unprofessional. Even worse, it can make it difficult to follow your sentences. So do use filler words when you speak, they actually can add some personality to a bland sentence or statement, but don’t use them too much.

This article is a compilation from several different resources.
15+ Quick English Filler Words You’ll Thank Yourself for Learning by YULIYAGEIKHMAN.
Download the complete article: Available as a convenient and portable PDF that you can take anywhere. Click here to get a copy. (Download)

Toastmaster website CUTTING OUT FILLER WORDS

Johnnie Urban Authentic Public Speaking  and Creator of the Speaker Start-up Kit

16 Public Speaking Declarations, Affirmations and Incantations

There are both positive and negative types of affirmations. I’m sure many of us can remember as a child being told by a teacher, parent or coach that we didn’t have the ability to do something, or we were too fat, clumsy, etc. These unresourceful statements can stay with us in the conscious or unconscious mind, and we then reinforce them throughout our lives.

We say incantations to ourselves all the time. Powerful positive ones will always overpower and eliminate negative self-defeating ones.

Declarations are something you say that is a statement that you believe to be true. When you make a declaration about something it’s like you put your stake in the ground and there is no turning back.

Affirmations can be a powerful tool to help you to change your mood, state of mind and manifest the change you desire in your life.

Incantations are what we say over and over again until they become a part of our unconscious mind. When that happens then it is a part of us and our unconscious mind will automatically accept them and do everything in its power to help you achieve them.

If an unresourceful belief is deeply rooted in our unconscious mind then it has the ability to override a positive affirmation even if we aren’t aware of it. This is why for many people affirmations and incantations don’t seem to work, as their afflicted thought patterns are so strong that it knocks out the effect of the positive statement. So how can we add more muscle to an affirmation and incantation so that it has the power to triumph over our negative thinking? Here are some suggestions on how to make them work for you.


Four Steps to Make Affirmations and Incantations More Effective & Powerful


Step 1: Write out an affirmation on the positive aspect of your self-judgment. You may want to use a thesaurus to find more powerful words to beef up your statement. For example instead of saying, “I’m worthy,” you could say, “I’m remarkable and cherished.” After you have written your affirmation, ask a close friend or a coach to read it to see if they have any suggestions to make it stronger.


Step 2: Turn your affirmation into incantations. Speak the affirmation out loud for about five minutes, three times a day — morning, mid day and evening. An ideal time to do this is when you’re putting on your make up or shaving, so that you can look at yourself in the mirror as you repeat the positive statement. Another option that helps to reinforce the new belief and would be easy to do at work is to write out the affirmation several times in a notebook. Notice over time as you write it if your style of writing changes. This could be a clue as to how your mind embraces the new concept.


Step 3: Anchor the affirmation in your body as you are repeating it by doing something powerfully physical. Do the Super Hero power pose (see photo). Jumping jacks, pushups or if you can go for a walk or even a run.

Step 4: Get a friend or coach to repeat your affirmation to you. As they are saying for example, “you are remarkable and cherished” identify this statement as nurturing messages. If you don’t have someone who you feel comfortable asking then use your reflection in the mirror as the person who is reinforcing the healthy message.


My gift to my fellow speakers

Below you will find 16 powerful declarations that you can easily turn into your own affirmations and even incantations. These are the exact ones that I use for myself.


  1. Speaking is fun!
  2. Speaking is about service!
  3. I am a Master Networker!
  4. Speaking is about leading!
  5. I am a Powerful presenter!
  6. People love to give me money!
  7. Speaking is about connection!
  8. I am the #1 Expert in my field!
  9. My intention is to embrace speaking!
  10. I have important Knowledge to share!
  11. I give amazing value whenever I speak!
  12. I am a Confident, Charismatic speaker!
  13. Speak honestly with integrity and compassion!
  14. People love to buy my products and/or services!
  15. I earn a fortune powerfully speaking my passion!
  16. Speaking is about moving people to take an action!


“I give myself the green light to go ahead, and to joyously embrace the new.” —LOUISE HAY


The Six Human Needs were originally introduced by Anthony Robbins. Tony had always been fascinated with human motivation and behavior. As a result he studied Neural Linguistic Programming, Cognitive Therapy, Gestalt Therapy and many other therapies of the time.

Every day you make certain decisions and take specific actions that come about as a result of how you think, feel and the habits you tend to indulge in.

Most of the time you probably don’t give these decisions or actions a second thought. You probably don’t even contemplate why you did what you did. And that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with that.

We naturally tend to filter out these details in order to focus on the most important things in our lives. However, there are certain advantages to knowing — to understanding what in particular motivated you to take that action or make that decision.

And this is where the Six Human Needs come into the picture.

The Six Human Needs are not desires or wants. They are psychological “needs” that we constantly work to satisfy on a mostly unconscious level of awareness. These Six Human Needs are the factors that influence your deepest motivations and effectively determine how you go about prioritizing your decisions and actions throughout your life.

In fact, every single day of your life you are unconsciously striving to meet these “needs” with varied success.

When these needs are met at a high level, you experience a great deal of happiness and fulfillment in your life. On the other hand, when these needs are not met at a high level, you will tend to feel unfulfilled and dissatisfied. However, because all this happens on an unconscious level of awareness, you probably don’t even realize why you’re feeling this way.

Your life seems okay on the surface, however something is just not right. Nothing you do seems to make you happy, and life in general just seems as though it’s missing important elements that you can’t seem to identify.


So what are these Six Human Needs?

Well, let’s take a very quick look at them right now before exploring them details later on:

• Certainty: Here you are striving to experience comfort and gain certainty in your life in order to minimize the stress of uncertainty.
• Uncertainty: Here you are striving for a little variety and uncertainty in your life in order to relieve boredom, predictability and stagnation.
• Significance: Here you are striving to gain a sense of significance and importance in the eyes of others. Your objective is to create a sense of identity.
• Connection: Here you are striving to make deep connections with people. You have a need to love and be loved by others. You also have a need to belong.
• Growth: Here you are striving to learn, experience and grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually in a variety of ways throughout your life.
• Contribution: Here you are striving to contribute to something greater than yourself. This is all about adding value to other people’s lives.


Balancing and Prioritizing Your Human Needs

In order to make the Six Human Needs work for you, you must first identify whether or not your current actions, choices and decisions are aligned with how you would like to prioritize your needs.

Ask yourself:

Based on my current life circumstances, how should I prioritize my needs?


Do I value certainty over uncertainty? Why? Why not?


Do I value significance over connection? Why? Why not?


Do I value connection over certainty? Why? Why not?


Do I value certainty over significance? Why? Why not?


What kinds of choices and decisions am I currently making?


How do these choices and decisions reflect how I subconsciously prioritize my needs?


Are my current choices and decisions in conflict with how I would like to prioritize my needs? What specific problems might be evident?


Am I experiencing enough growth in my life? If not, then how could I focus on satisfying this need to a higher degree in the future?


Is there enough room in my life to explore the need for contribution? How?


In the end, the whole purpose of this entire process is to help you transform your behavior in positive ways so that you can find more happiness and fulfillment in your life. And this all begins with an understanding of your Six Human Needs.

There’s literally so much that could be discussed here. In fact an entire book could be written about this subject. This short article certainly doesn’t give the topic of the Six Human Needs justice. However, I hope that it has provided you with some insights that you can work with to help balance and re-prioritize your life in more helpful and positive ways.

The above article is an exerpt from:
by Adam Sicinski

Johnnie Urban SI, MNLP, MHt, MTT

As a passionate Strategic Interventionist Johnnie Urban is trained extensively in the 6 Human Needs and use these as a basis with all her coaching clients. Coupled with being a part of the Tony Robbins environment since 2001 we can actually say that she is somewhat of an expert in showing people how to recognize how these show up in their lives.


I found this article and thought you would like it.

Comedians are the ultimate public speakers. Here’s what you can learn from them.





Mike Michalowicz
Author, Profit First
MAY 04, 2012

Comedians are the ultimate public speakers. They have to hold an audience’s attention for an hour or more. They don’t get a break during their talks, and they don’t get to lean on the audience for Q&A. They are expected to make the audience laugh constantly. And they don’t even get to use a PowerPoint bullet list of discussion points.
Comedians know that the secret to keeping an audience engaged is following the commandments of powerful public speaking. Here are their secrets.

1. Humbling personal stories. As a general rule, an audience will envy someone “above” them, connect with someone “like” them, and support someone “below” them. Any degree of arrogance will result in a disengaged audience. Comedians often open up their acts by sharing a humbling or even humiliating story. Not only is it funny, but it shows the audience that they are just a regular Joe. And regular Joes get support from the audience.

2. Just say no to PowerPoint. How often do you see a comedian using the PowerPoint crutch? Pretty much never. Unless, of course, they are making fun of PowerPoint. Comedians know that the best pictures are the ones that you draw in people’s minds. They also know that they want the audience looking at them, not trying to read a screen. Comedians use detailed descriptions, storytelling, body movement, voice tonality and props (that microphone stand can serve a million purposes).

3. Gesticulation. They say that the spoken word is only 5 percent of communication (Personally, I don’t know who “they” are, but I think they are right.) The remainder of communication is in our tone, pitch, facial gestures, and body movements. Comedians know that on stage, it is hard for people to see the minor expressions (e.g., subtle facial expressions), so they make big movements. Every body movement and facial expression is exaggerated so even the person with the worst seats in the house can see it clearly.

4. Laugh-cry-laugh. Like waves rolling in from the ocean, comedians know that the most engaged audiences need to have a release (laughter) and a recovery (a moment of calmness) before the next release (laughing again). As a public speaker, you may even want to move your audience through a little more of an emotional roller coaster. The laughing and crying keeps them connected and opens them up for you to deliver your knowledge and lessons.

5. No lectern. How often do you see comedians using a lectern? That’s right—never! A lectern serves no other purpose than to hide a speaker’s fidgety hands from the audience. The lectern is nothing but a big fat crutch. Avoid it like the plague, unless you use it as a prop.

6. No notes. When was the last time you saw a comedian pull out a notecard to see what their next joke was? A great speech is a prepared speech. Comedians practice their routines over and over, and you must do the same. You can use different mnemonic memory techniques to remember even the most complex speeches. Remember, if you take your eyes off of your audience, they will take their eyes off you. And that creates a disastrous speaking situation.


7. The loop-back. Ever notice that most comedians wrap up their routines by referencing some jokes from earlier on in their routine. I call this method “the loop-back.” Often these jokes come across as the funniest, because they reference something familiar (another joke from earlier in the routine). In the closing of your speech, make sure your refer back to the core content they just learned.

Just because comedians are master public speakers doesn’t mean you need to be a comedian to kill on stage. You aren’t even required to tell jokes (but a few thrown in here and there will surely help). Start to observe the techniques comedians use, and employ them in your own presentations. Set your DVR to record some stand-up material on Comedy Central or HBO and study it. If nothing else, you’ll at least have a few laughs during your training.

Who is your favorite comedian and what public-speaking tips can you learn from he or she?

Surround Yourself

Surround Yourself

I was reminded of this last week while I was reading a blog from Seth Godin.

The operative paragraph that REALLY got me to perk up was the fourth one.

The originality paradox
“There are a billion people trying to do something important for the first time. These people are connected by the net, posting, creating, daring to leap first.

It’s hard, because the number of people racing with you to be original is huge.

The numbers are so daunting that the chances that you will create something that resonates, spreads and changes the culture are really close to zero.

But it’s also certain that someone will. In fact, there’s a 100% chance that someone will step up with an action or a concept so daring that it resonates with us.

Nearly zero and certain. At the same time.

Pick your odds, decide what you care about and act accordingly.”

And when you surround yourself with people that see your greatness there’s a better chance you will succeed at ANYTHING.

Someone is going to step up with that resonating concept, It might as well be you.

The world needs more sensitve people, find out if you’re one of them => HSP


Johnnie Urban
The Sensitive Coach

There are several ways I work with clients:
-Individual coaching programs
-Group coaching programs
-Personalized programs

To schedule a time to learn more
about how I can help you,click here Stop The Madness and Thrive Session

Or send me an email message at

Please visit my Facebook Page and post a
comment to say hello: Living As A Highly Sensitive Person

Dear Community,

I know how frustrating it can be to have a busy life and not be able to get the results you need to be truly fulfilled.

You may wonder, “Why am I so easily overwhelmed?” 

If you want to have an extraordinary purpose driven life you need to be crystal clear about your direction and  the strategies that will inspire you to soar.

When you shift to a serving experience, everything changes!

“Since completing this book people have been begging me to get this out to as many people as possible as quickly as possible. My deepest desire is to help people get what they want in their life. This book has been a labor of love for those that it will help.”

Early in 2013 I began to study Highly Sensitive People (HSP) theories.

My curiosity was peaked as I noticed how highly sensitive I had become to my surroundings. Loud noises, scratchy fabrics, bright light, large crowds and other peoples energy and emotions. All of this was presenting itself in a huge way on a daily basis as high levels of physical pain, ocular headaches and digestive disorders.

This is where I finally found some real answers to what I was going through and how to actually use these gifts for success instead of allowing them to overwhelm me and stop me from my purpose.

This book was written for you from my knowledge, training and personal real life experiences.”

An Invitation

I invite you to find out what it really takes with this powerful new book written by Highly Sensitive People expert, Johnnie Urban.

Take Advantage of the Special Pricing and Get Your Copy Today!

Handout card for book Stop The Madness“Stop The Madness, How the Highly Sensitive Person Can Thrive in a Chaotic World”

Limited Time Special Pricing

Get your copy at an irresistible introductory price of $6.99  for the soft cover and only .99 cents on Kindle , until August 31st 2015.

You Can Get Your Book Here Now => From Amazon



Downloadable Journal Workbook

I have included a BONUS just for you! A downloadable journal workbook created to compliment and enhance what you learn from the book. It is chock full of Inspiration and beautiful art, plus a few comical illustrations for laughs. To receive your BONUS, just  forward your proof of purchase receipt to

BONUS #2: 60 minute Stop The Madness and Thrive Session.

As a special Gift, only to this community who purchase her book. I am gifting you a complimentary, no strings attached, 60 minute Stop The Madness Coaching session.

(Just leave a review on Amazon, then email  to schedule your session). You can also schedule here with my online calendar: 60 MIN.Stop The Madness and Thrive Session: Real Time Online Scheduler


Stop The Madness was written for you by a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) who gets you.

In this book you will understand what it is, and what it is not, to be Highly Sensitive.

Are You Ready to Stop The Madness of?

  • Overwhelm & Scatteredness
  • Fear of the Unknown
  • Doubt, Worry
  • Not Feeling Good Enough
  • Feeling Unfulfilled
  • Disconnected to Your Purpose
  • Emotional Mood Swings

Did you know there are ways to shift these highly sensitive ‘challenges’ into strengths?

Be able to live in this chaotic crisis driven world so that you can thrive and be at peace in the chaos of life?

In This Book You Will Find:

*Practical insights and real stories about how high sensitivity affects both work and personal relationships.

*Never before seen, The Six Human Needs and how they effect the Highly Sensitive Person.

*A Christian perspective with helpful insights and exercises.

*Techniques to empower your soul and spiritual life and the importance of Spiritual faith

*Real life solutions and tips.

*How re-framing life experiences changes everything.

*The importance of nutrition and wellness.


What People Are Saying!

lynn & Jeff“Invaluable, life changing!! A must read for those who are, and those who live with a Highly Sensitive Person. Johnnie Marie Urban addresses the situation with insightful perfection!”

 -Lynn Kay, Yorba Linda


Johnnie Urban is an Expert In Getting Fast Results!

Johnnie M. Urban author, speaker and specialist.
Strategic Interventionist. Certified Master Life & Business Success Coach. MNLP, MHt. MTT. Coaching the Highly Sensitive Person how to navigate their world.
Founder and CEO of Wonderful Life Learning Company.
Wife, Mother, Grandma, friend and a Highly Sensitive Person.

Wonderful Life Learning is a Christian based Life Success Coaching & Consulting Company.

A Special Note From Johnnie;

LR half body trees“Because I believe that what happens in one area of your life will cross over to another area I also extend my teachings and mentoring to the your work environment. Including your boss, manager, coworkers and staff.

We are born with certain family DNA traits. And that God had a plan for us even before we were conceived. The order I was born in my family and the region on the planet where I lived as a child growing up and going to school. This is the “culture” I learned from.

Then there is what I choose to do with it. I’ve always been curious as a child and that never went away. OH the stories my parents could tell you.

As an adult I have always been insanely curious about what makes people do what they do. Their behaviors – good and bad- and how other people react to them.


“Sizzling Sale” starts today!

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The is a quick and to the point basic description of traits of an HSP. It is one of the first pieces of information that I found that accurately described why I felt that I was unique and different from non-HSPs. I have also found that this piece of information is useful when I need to explain to people exactly what being Highly Sensitive is.

I’ve included this in my book due out next week. Stop The Madness, How the Highly Sensitive Person Can Thrive in a Chaotic World.

The following was written by Dr. Elaine Aron and posted on her website on November 21st, 2014. You can go to her website for more valuable articles and blog posts going way back to 2004.

“You’re just too sensitive. Don’t take things so personally.”

In a culture that favors the powerful, sensitivity can be seen as a deficiency. Sensitive people can be perceived as delicate, quiet and aloof, but that doesn’t mean sensitivity is a negative trait. Being a highly sensitive individual may be more useful than the common wisdom would have us believe, according to researcher and psychologist Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D. In fact, as Aron explains, there are numerous misconceptions about people who, as she describes, “just feel more deeply.”

Below are 11 things you probably thought wrong about highly sensitive people.

1. They’re weak.

As a society, we tend to rank people based on certain characteristics — and HSPs tend to evade those traits that are perceived as “strong.” “There are different kinds of weakness,” Aron told The Huffington Post. “They’re more sensitive to pain, so they’re going to avoid a fight; that might make them look weak because they’re not aggressive. They have more emotional reactivity, so they cry more easily.”

But their ability to pick up on others’ emotions and intuitive nature offers a different type of advantage, Aron explains. “Highly sensitive people see things in a way that other people don’t see,” she said. “It’s a different kind of strength.”

2. They’re introverts.

High sensitivity is often used synonymously with introversion, but while they share similar characteristics (like wanting downtime and having relatively quiet personalities), Aron says the two are not the same. In fact, approximately 30 percent of HSPs are extroverts, according to her research.

3. They’re easily offended.

Sensitive people cringe over criticism, and when they receive it, it’s something they reflect on internally rather than take as a personal offense. Because they try to avoid scrutiny at all costs, HSPs tend to criticize themselves first or avoid the source of criticism altogether.

4. They’re shy.

One of the largest misconceptions about the personality trait is that people perceive HSPs as shy or neurotic individuals, Aron says. This could partially be due to their aversion to criticism or their reserved nature — but Aron stresses it’s important to distinguish the differences. “Shy is a fear of social evaluation, and we are not born with that fear,” she said. “A lot of people study shyness today and they don’t realize what’s under the hood, they just look at the behavior.”

5. All highly sensitive people are women.

Sensitivity doesn’t discriminate based on height, weight, gender, or job description. According to Aron, there are just as many men who possess the trait as there are women. “Being a sensitive man is difficult in our culture, but they are out there,” she said. “There’s no difference in how big and strong and masculine looking you are, if you’re a man or a woman. It’s not a matter of size.”

6. They’re prone to mental or physical illness.

Just like many other traits, it all comes down to variability in your genetics and environment. On average, a highly sensitive person is not at any more risk for mental or physical health issues, Aron says. In fact, if you’re in a stabilized environment, the trait may even benefit you. “You’re healthier than other people mentally and physically,” she explained.

Aron also notes that the trait is not associated with the autism spectrum, like many people believe. Becoming easily overstimulated is a common thread — especially in young children — but she stresses that there are many other distinctions that parents should pay attention to and discuss with their doctor. “That’s a difficult diagnosis to make in a very young child … it’s been misdiagnosed both ways, but they’re different,” she said.

7. Being highly sensitive negatively affects workplace success.

Because they’re so intuitive, Aron says that sensitive individuals can actually use their trait to perform better. “It’s not a handicap in relationships or at work,” she said. “Sensitive people can use their observations to their advantage … They’re going to rise to the top. They know how to bring ideas up without being ridiculed or scorned.”

8. They don’t like big crowds.

While highly sensitive people do prefer to participate in activities (like exercise) solo, that doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy a large party or interacting in a big gathering. In fact, HSPs can thrive when there’s social stimulation and some even find calm in large groups, Aron says.

9. They don’t take risks.

It’s a myth that highly sensitive individuals just want to stay at home or want everything calm and quiet all the time. Many HSPs seek high-sensation thrills like surfing and extensive traveling. Aron says they also choose careers where they can apply their traits while still finding stimulation and meaning, such as journalism or other service-based jobs.

10. You can easily identify a highly sensitive person.

In most cases, you probably won’t be able to spot an HSP in a crowd, Aron explains. Save for a few eccentricities, like preferring alone time or a quiet restaurant over a noisy one, the personality trait doesn’t often stand out. “They blend,” she said. “They’re creative, insightful and have a lot of empathy. People tend to like them.”

11. The trait is abnormal.

Aron, who has been researching HSPs since the early ’90s, says that nearly one in five people possess it. If you’re interested in finding out if you’re a highly sensitive person, you can take the self-assessment here:

Wikipedia – Highly sensitive person

Johnnie Urban
The Sensitive Coach