“English is like, totally fun to learn, you know?”
If you take out the words “like,” “totally” and “you know” from that sentence, you’re left with a perfectly understandable sentence:

English is fun to learn.

So what’s the point of all those extra words, then?
Words like “totally” and phrases like “you know” are called filler words, and they’re used, like, literally all the time.
You’ve probably heard lots of filler words being used in conversations or in movies and TV shows. These might not seem useful, but they are actually a pretty important part of the English language, especially in American English.
Filler words can be an English learner’s best friends, if you use them correctly and not too often.

What Are Filler Words?

Filler words are words (and phrases) that are used to fill silence when you’re speaking. They’re words that don’t add any real value to the sentence. They simply keep you going while you come up with the rest of your sentence.
Their actual name is “discourse markers,” but they’re much more commonly known as “filler words.”
You might already use filler words without realizing it. When you can’t think of the right word to use in a sentence, you might say “umm.”

This gives you a break while you think, without an awkward, silent pause.
Since filler words don’t really add any meaning to the sentence, you don’t need to think about using them. This leaves your brain free to think of other things—like the word you’re trying to remember.

Building Confidence

Most beginning speakers are afraid of pauses. They believe their audience will think they are inarticulate if they pause to think of what to say next, so they use filler words to avoid the silence. However, a pause is actually more impressive than a filler word. Listeners know that the speaker is thinking, trying to find the right word.
They respect this. Sometimes a pause can actually improve a speech, as when an actor uses a dramatic pause to rivet the attention of his audience.
A speaker shouldn’t be afraid to pause occasionally during a speech; it shows self-confidence.

Johnnie Urban, author and speaker trainer says,
“I remind myself that I have the floor and that nobody is going to interrupt me,” she also adds, “I tell myself that it’s okay to be silent. When I’m collecting my thoughts, I believe I appear more cerebral and deep in thought if I remain silent for a second or two. I appear to be the wise professor who is about to say something profound. I find that the audience will sit up and pay more attention. I tell myself that what seems like a long pause to me is probably a short pause to those in the audience.”

Brittany Hoff Gill of the Eagle Toastmasters in Eagle, Idaho, believes the way a speaker views the situation also affects the “ah” quotient. “Filler words generally come in when you don’t view the presentation as a conversation,” she says. “This makes you nervous and tense, and then you have a tendency to use filler words.”

 Public Speaking Emotions

Use Filler Words in Moderation

Like with anything else, you could use filler words too much. Overusing filler words (using too many, too often) can make you sound unprofessional. Even worse, it can make it difficult to follow your sentences. So do use filler words when you speak, they actually can add some personality to a bland sentence or statement, but don’t use them too much.

This article is a compilation from several different resources.
15+ Quick English Filler Words You’ll Thank Yourself for Learning by YULIYAGEIKHMAN.
Download the complete article: Available as a convenient and portable PDF that you can take anywhere. Click here to get a copy. (Download)

Toastmaster website CUTTING OUT FILLER WORDS

Johnnie Urban Authentic Public Speaking  and Creator of the Speaker Start-up Kit

Have you ever found yourself so feeling deeply about something you burst into tears of joy? How about exhausted and overwhelmed being in a certain chaotic environment? What if you could learn that this was normal for a Highly Sensitive Person and that your traits are abilities, when nurtured, will expand your life beyond belief. 

Peace…
“It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.”

When I was growing up, I distinctly remember hating it whenever I heard someone else complaining about and judging someone. I always needed to defend the underdog and tell the judgers to just let them be who they are. It quickly became my motto, just let them BE!

Now I realize it was because when I heard or saw people treating others wrong, I felt it deeply within myself and I needed it to stop.

RollerCoaster - Highly Sensitive Person

Roller Coaster Ride

Learning to manage this “feeling deeply” trait of a Highly Sensitive Person has been a roller coaster ride for me. I’ve heard a great deal of advice from a lot of well-meaning people who practically drove me crazy. I always felt like they were telling me there was something wrong with me and THEY had the magic method that would fix it.

Feeling deeply, for a Highly Sensitive Person, is as natural as breathing air.

When feeling deeply is beautiful and expanding you will feel alive and authentic to your core. When it is gut wrenching, torture, and exhausting is when we want the madness to stop. I am here to tell you that you have a choice of doing what works best for you.
Yes, being a  Highly Sensitive Person will be the cause of tears while experiencing a beautiful song that moves you, or a work of art, or a flower in your garden. It will also cause you to stop an injustice, help someone get out of their pain, or build a successful business that employs people and contributes to the community.

A piece of who they are

If someone were to ask a Highly Sensitive Person to stop feeling deeply as a way to protect themselves, then they are also asking them to give up a piece of who they are. Will there be times that you will feel overwhelmed with emotion when it’s not convenient? Absolutely! That is when you will need to use some useful techniques that I have developed and taught many Highly Sensitive People over the years.

Of everything that you will read and learn and in your own personal experiences about Highly Sensitive People there is one thing that’s really important for you to know. We may fit into the description of being a Highly Sensitive Person, but we are all uniquely different. As unique as our fingerprints. Even identical twins have their own unique attributes.

IMG_2180 - Highly Sensitive Person

Back when I was a child, I wished that there was someone I could have spoken to about this stuff. I was so confused, alone, and unsure about what I was experiencing in my life every moment of every day. That is exactly why I have taken my coaching, teaching passion and experiences into helping people like you that are still looking for the answers to your Highly Sensitive challenges.Tapping into my Highly Sensitive traits and experiences as an ability makes me a unique coach for people like you.
I chose as the title of my book, Stop The Madness, How the Highly Sensitive Person Can Thrive In A Chaotic World, because there are so many Highly Sensitive People out there in the world that are suffering from overwhelm, exhaustion, and the crazy-making of other people.

Beautiful Talented People

These are beautifully talented people that are hiding, not using their gifts and abilities because the very thought of possibly being overwhelmed is terrifying and exhausting.

Did you know that Highly Sensitive People are designed to be giving? If we are not giving our love, joy, happiness, and heartfelt gratefulness, then we are only existing, not thriving. And because a Highly Sensitive Person is so attuned to what is working and not working, we will feel guilt and shame if we are not contributing.

This is an example of what Highly Sensitive People will learn about  their  traits and abilities and how they can be a challenge and a blessing.
You will also learn how to transform your emotional and physical pain into a new, wonderful You that contributes to your relationships, community, and even the world.

It’s your life, let’s make it wonderful.

LR half body treesRev. Johnnie Marie Urban is an Author, Speaker, Workshop facilitator.

Founder of Wonderful Life Learning Co. a Christian based Life Success Coaching & Consulting Company specializing in teaching the Highly Sensitive People how to thrive in the chaotic world.

This is where people come to uncover and explore what their HSP talents and abilities are so that you can have a fulfilled life without the worries of exhaustion and overwhelm.

Certified Strategic Interventionist, Master Life & Business Success Coach, MNLP, MHt. MTT. Christian counselor, Wife, Mother, Grandma, friend and a Highly Sensitive Person.

www.EverythingHSP.com

Email: Johnnie@everythinghsp.com

Her book, “Stop The Madness” is on Amazon.com

Stop The Madness Book

Dear Community,

I know how frustrating it can be to have a busy life and not be able to get the results you need to be truly fulfilled.

You may wonder, “Why am I so easily overwhelmed?” 

If you want to have an extraordinary purpose driven life you need to be crystal clear about your direction and  the strategies that will inspire you to soar.

When you shift to a serving experience, everything changes!

“Since completing this book people have been begging me to get this out to as many people as possible as quickly as possible. My deepest desire is to help people get what they want in their life. This book has been a labor of love for those that it will help.”

Early in 2013 I began to study Highly Sensitive People (HSP) theories.

My curiosity was peaked as I noticed how highly sensitive I had become to my surroundings. Loud noises, scratchy fabrics, bright light, large crowds and other peoples energy and emotions. All of this was presenting itself in a huge way on a daily basis as high levels of physical pain, ocular headaches and digestive disorders.

This is where I finally found some real answers to what I was going through and how to actually use these gifts for success instead of allowing them to overwhelm me and stop me from my purpose.

This book was written for you from my knowledge, training and personal real life experiences.”

An Invitation

I invite you to find out what it really takes with this powerful new book written by Highly Sensitive People expert, Johnnie Urban.

Take Advantage of the Special Pricing and Get Your Copy Today!

Handout card for book Stop The Madness“Stop The Madness, How the Highly Sensitive Person Can Thrive in a Chaotic World”

Limited Time Special Pricing

Get your copy at an irresistible introductory price of $6.99  for the soft cover and only .99 cents on Kindle , until August 31st 2015.

You Can Get Your Book Here Now => From Amazon

 

BONUS #1:

Downloadable Journal Workbook

I have included a BONUS just for you! A downloadable journal workbook created to compliment and enhance what you learn from the book. It is chock full of Inspiration and beautiful art, plus a few comical illustrations for laughs. To receive your BONUS, just  forward your proof of purchase receipt to info@everythinghsp.com

BONUS #2: 60 minute Stop The Madness and Thrive Session.

As a special Gift, only to this community who purchase her book. I am gifting you a complimentary, no strings attached, 60 minute Stop The Madness Coaching session.

(Just leave a review on Amazon, then email johnnie@everythinghsp.com  to schedule your session). You can also schedule here with my online calendar: 60 MIN.Stop The Madness and Thrive Session: Real Time Online Scheduler

 

Stop The Madness was written for you by a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) who gets you.

In this book you will understand what it is, and what it is not, to be Highly Sensitive.

Are You Ready to Stop The Madness of?

  • Overwhelm & Scatteredness
  • Fear of the Unknown
  • Doubt, Worry
  • Not Feeling Good Enough
  • Feeling Unfulfilled
  • Disconnected to Your Purpose
  • Emotional Mood Swings

Did you know there are ways to shift these highly sensitive ‘challenges’ into strengths?

Be able to live in this chaotic crisis driven world so that you can thrive and be at peace in the chaos of life?

In This Book You Will Find:

*Practical insights and real stories about how high sensitivity affects both work and personal relationships.

*Never before seen, The Six Human Needs and how they effect the Highly Sensitive Person.

*A Christian perspective with helpful insights and exercises.

*Techniques to empower your soul and spiritual life and the importance of Spiritual faith

*Real life solutions and tips.

*How re-framing life experiences changes everything.

*The importance of nutrition and wellness.

 

What People Are Saying!

lynn & Jeff“Invaluable, life changing!! A must read for those who are, and those who live with a Highly Sensitive Person. Johnnie Marie Urban addresses the situation with insightful perfection!”

 -Lynn Kay, Yorba Linda

 

Johnnie Urban is an Expert In Getting Fast Results!

Johnnie M. Urban author, speaker and specialist.
Strategic Interventionist. Certified Master Life & Business Success Coach. MNLP, MHt. MTT. Coaching the Highly Sensitive Person how to navigate their world.
Founder and CEO of Wonderful Life Learning Company.
Wife, Mother, Grandma, friend and a Highly Sensitive Person.

Wonderful Life Learning is a Christian based Life Success Coaching & Consulting Company.

www.EverthingHSP.com.com
info@everythinghsp.com

A Special Note From Johnnie;

LR half body trees“Because I believe that what happens in one area of your life will cross over to another area I also extend my teachings and mentoring to the your work environment. Including your boss, manager, coworkers and staff.

We are born with certain family DNA traits. And that God had a plan for us even before we were conceived. The order I was born in my family and the region on the planet where I lived as a child growing up and going to school. This is the “culture” I learned from.

Then there is what I choose to do with it. I’ve always been curious as a child and that never went away. OH the stories my parents could tell you.

As an adult I have always been insanely curious about what makes people do what they do. Their behaviors – good and bad- and how other people react to them.

 

“Sizzling Sale” starts today!

Get Your Book Here Now => On Amazon

There are only a couple of weeks at this special price, $6.99 softcover and .99 cents for Kindle and it’s ending soon,  (August 31, 2015) so secure yours right away.

Make sure you take advantage of her complimentary giftno strings attached 60 minute Stop The Madness Coaching session. 

Enjoy and let me know what you think!

Warmly,
~Johnnie Urban

P.S. Are you making common mistakes that sabotage your success?

Come and see what they might be. => Amazon Bookstore

Fire and Rain

It was early March of 2002, a little bit after midnight near the Queen Mary in Long Beach, California. I was walking barefoot in the worst rain storm Southern California has ever had, and I was freaking out. I was about to walk over hot coals for the first time in my life and I was freaking out because I was getting soaking wet.

As you can imagine, this particular night changed my life forever.

Something I Learned From Tony Robbins.
Back up a few months to November, 2001. At that time, I had been working as a hairstylist for about six years. I loved every aspect of my career. Helping people look and feel their best. Creating works of art with hair and the constant education helped propel me to become one of the top Master stylists in the area. It was not unusual for me to pick up a new client every week or so. And that is how I met a client that would change my life forever. Fast forward to March 2002, I was working on the hair of this new client when out of the blue she asked me if I wanted to attend a Tony Robbins four day Unleash The Power Within event. It was going to be in about a week and about 30 minutes from where I lived.

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(If you haven’t heard of Tony Robbins, you can find out more at TonyRobbins.com.)

Well, I hesitated and kinda said, “Ok?” when she stopped me and said, “Honey, if you say yes, then you have to go and I will get you a ticket.”

Now, I had followed Tony Robbins and read his book and even had an old cassette tape that I enjoyed. I never thought I would end up at an event. And now I was standing there in the pouring rain looking down on really hot coals that I was about to walk on.

This turned out to be a major turning point in my life. And I thank God every day for all the events that had to happen for that client and me to come together.
Since that first event, and every year after that, I have enjoyed attending at least three or more of Tony’s events as a crew member or a Senior Leader, helping support the transformation of thousands of people. I have also taken the steps toward joining Tony Robbins’ coaching team as a certified Strategic Interventionist. I can truly say life has never been the same.

Human Psychology Is Amazing
Because of what I have learned about human psychology and how to get people out of their pain fast, I have left the field of hair styling and am now a full time Life Success Coach and Strategic Interventionist.

How does a Highly Sensitive Person navigate all of this? That is exactly why I wrote this book (Stop The Madness, How the Highly Sensitive Person Can Thrive In a Chaotic World-http://tinyurl.com/oy6spll). To help you understand that you too can have a life of meaning and fulfillment.

Tony Robbins has taken human psychology into his teachings and uses the six human needs to help understand how we make decisions in our lives.
I have hundreds of stories about how understanding these 6 HN’s have saved marriages, a relationship with a teenage child, a relationship between a coworker and a boss. I believe they change the course of history in people’s lives.

All human beings share the same six basic human needs. These needs underlie all the choices we make in our lives.

CERTAINTY
The first need is for Certainty. We want to feel safe, avoid pain and feel comfortable in our environment and our relationships. Every individual needs to have some sense of certainty and security – a roof over one’s head, knowing where the next meal will come from, knowing how to obtain care when one is sick, knowing that a neighbor won’t attack us. These are just a few examples of what constitutes a basic sense of certainty.
Everyone needs certainty but the degree to which certainty is needed or desired varies from person to person. Some people feel secure living in one room and collecting an unemployment check. Others can feel certainty only if they make a million dollars each year. Even though some certainty is necessary to all of us, what constitutes certainty varies from individual to individual. Code words for Certainty are comfort, security, safety, stability, feeling grounded, predictability, and protection.

What It Means To A Highly Sensitive Person
An HSP’s need for certainty is especially high. Controlling their environment and other people can take on an obsessive quality if not kept in check with reality. There are extremes from one end of the spectrum to the other where one person may need to know every little detail about an upcoming trip to relieve their emotional stress and another HSP can relax with a limited amount of information knowing that whatever happens will be absolutely perfect. I see quite a few HSPs never having a long term, successful relationship with someone because there is no certainty in it. They will stay single the rest of their lives rather than take the risk of having an intimate relationship in their lives.

If you want to know what the other 5 Human Needs are sign up for my blog at www.EverythingHSP.com
Each week I will write for your delight.

Blessings,
Johnnie Urban
Strategic Interventionist
Coaching Highly Sensitive People To Have Extraordinary Fullfilling Lives.
#wonderfullife

The Importance of Nutrition and Wellness

If you are a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) then you are also more aware of when your body is not comfortable. Since HSP are more sensitive to  being uncomfortable and feeling physical pain than most people we work at being the most comfortable that we can be in every environment. Therefore, it is important to look at our health and wellness as a way to avoid over-stimulation, exhaustion and physical pain.

*Stick to simple foods that have a healthy balance is essential.
*Get the supplemental nutrients, our food no longer provides what we need.
*Connect to nature.
*Do regular exercise, relaxation, meditation and any other activities that go with your nature to calm yourself down and recharge after the over stimulation.

photo-reachingUp

Being a HSP does not automatically mean you will experience the physical challenges and pain that some of us do. But if you do it’s just a wake up call to pay attention and do something, NOW.

My back finally said enough is enough.

In December 2010, about 6 months after marrying Michael, we went to a local amusement park and rode every ride like little kids. Two days later I was cranky and in pain but didn’t know what was about to happen would change my life forever. The pain got progressively worse until I literally couldn’t  move. I had to be carried to the car and when I got to the Dr.’s I had to be carried in. The X-ray made me cry even more. Apparently the curve in my spine  had gotten progressively worse over the years to the point that it is now moderate scoliosis.

It was no picnic in the park. Because of the compressed disc and pinched nerve I needed to get spinal decompression several times a week for a couple of months. But that was far better than surgery.
Fast forward 2 years later. Even though my back had healed I still had to be very careful to not do too much. I wore a brace to work and needed to rest a lot. I think the whole episode triggered my High Sensitivity over the top.

Things were at a point that I thought I was going crazy. I was beginning to forget the simplest things and was having vertigo episodes so frequently that I couldn’t walk across the room with holding onto furniture.
Low and behold not only was my thyroid out of whack but my adrenal system had also gone into overdrive. Apparently when my back went out my whole system went into shock. My adrenal system went into fight or flight mode and had forgotten how to shut off.

All of this affected my thyroid and digestive system. There were also a whole list of other stuff going on that attributed to my vertigo that I won’t go into here.

Unchecked Emotional Pressure?

It’s now a little bit over four years after my back did a total blow out. And I do wonder, at times, if the Highly Sensitive emotional stress I experience  has anything to do with my scoliosis getting worse.
Was my unchecked emotional pressure causing a physical pressure that in turn caused my spinal structure to curve enough to have a total collapse?
It’s hard to equate that. All I know is that I got to a place in life where I decided that I MUST change and get control of my High Sensitivity  because what I was doing, up until then, was not working.

I know deep in my heart and soul that God has a plan for all of us. His plan for me is to show others who are in pain, emotional and physical, how they cannot just exist but thrive in our chaotic world. I can only  believe that He wanted me to learn first hand so that I could congruently serve others.

Hectic Lifestyle

Our hectic lifestyle can become a health risk especially for a HSP. What may be a normal day for most people will overwhelm most HSP.  In some careers, jobs and even academic communities there is a huge social demand to perform and succeed at the highest level.

Then there is social media, TV, movies, sports activities, and anything else that pushes and pulls at us to do more and more.
I will always be secretly and eternally grateful when my young boys decided that they did not want to play after school sports like their friends.

Life Like A Hermit?

Unless you decide to live the life of a hermit you will experience some stress in your life that could potentially cause health issues.

The food that is available to us to eat is especially troublesome. More and more GMO food is getting into our food supply and causing havoc with our health. My husband and I just saw a documentary on Netflix, “GMO OMG” that questioned that very issue. HSP’s bodies are especially vulnerable to the effects of toxins and pesticides.

Be Your Own Health Advocate

The reason I told you this story was for you to understand how important it is to listen to your body and keep searching for the specific help you need for whatever health issues you may have. Don’t let anyone tell your Highly Sensitive side of you that you’re crazy for what you know is true. We are so fortunate to have an abundance of choices in the medical field today whether it’s natural or not you owe it to your self to have an amazing pain free healthy life.

Its important to stay grounded by:

*Get a lot of sleep (eight hours minimum, sometimes more)
*Exercise daily, preferably outside, to calm your nervous system and clear your mind.
*Eat healthy food.
*During your quiet alone time read books, listen to soothing music, and do journal writing.
*Whenever you need to be alone, find a quiet place where you can be alone.
*Invest time and energy only in friendships that are good for you. People who accept you for who you are and support you in the way that you live.

photodune-6366926-happy-people-l

Stop The Distraction Madness

Now is the time to take stock of your own health and wellness. Most of us HSP will keep ourselves busy, take a some kind of a drug, eat when you’re not hungry or have too many glass’s of wine to distract us from what we are feeling, be it emotional or physical pain.

I urge you to take a moment of really getting real with yourself, right now, and say ENOUGH. “I will no longer tolerate the low standards I have for my health and well being. I am worth it to be the very best version of myself so that I can live a life that is wonderful.”

Get Help – Address your life challenges and heal the emotional stuff that causes you pain. Your body and your life will thank you.

Sign up to get your Complimentary Stop The Madness Session here, [CLICK HERE]

I’m going to end with saying that today I feel really emotionally and physically healthy  for the first time in over 5 years.
Yes, I will need to work at it daily – But I think I’m worth it

Blessings and Yours Truly,

Johnnie Urban

Strategic Interventionist
Coaching Highly Sensitive People How To Thrive In A Chaotic World
www.EverythingHSP.com
714-403-9256