Surround Yourself

Surround Yourself

I was reminded of this last week while I was reading a blog from Seth Godin.

The operative paragraph that REALLY got me to perk up was the fourth one.

The originality paradox
“There are a billion people trying to do something important for the first time. These people are connected by the net, posting, creating, daring to leap first.

It’s hard, because the number of people racing with you to be original is huge.

The numbers are so daunting that the chances that you will create something that resonates, spreads and changes the culture are really close to zero.

But it’s also certain that someone will. In fact, there’s a 100% chance that someone will step up with an action or a concept so daring that it resonates with us.

Nearly zero and certain. At the same time.

Pick your odds, decide what you care about and act accordingly.”

And when you surround yourself with people that see your greatness there’s a better chance you will succeed at ANYTHING.

Someone is going to step up with that resonating concept, It might as well be you.

The world needs more sensitve people, find out if you’re one of them => HSP


Johnnie Urban
The Sensitive Coach

There are several ways I work with clients:
-Individual coaching programs
-Group coaching programs
-Personalized programs

To schedule a time to learn more
about how I can help you,click here Stop The Madness and Thrive Session

Or send me an email message at

Please visit my Facebook Page and post a
comment to say hello: Living As A Highly Sensitive Person

Women Sitting In Chair Deep In Thought
If you’re a highly sensitive person like me, you know little things can be too much. Busy environments, violent images in movies, or weekends with little downtime can stress you out. Because you’re so in tune with your environment and other people, life can be pretty exhausting, which makes you withdraw — and non-sensitives don’t understand.

But there’s nothing wrong with you and you’re not alone. High sensitivity is actually fairly common, found in 15 to 20 percent of the population, according to Dr. Elaine N. Aron, author of the book, The Highly Sensitive Person. Both introverts and extroverts can be sensitive, as well as people of all personality types.

Sadly, because many people don’t understand what high sensitivity is, you may have been told to “toughen up” or “just get over it.” You may have always felt different from other people, but you didn’t have a name for what you were.

High sensitivity can make life challenging but not impossible. When I’m in a routine and doing plenty of self-care, I forget about my sensitivity. But a recent trip reminded me of just how frazzled my senses can get. I was rushing from one activity to the next, hanging out in loud crowded restaurants, and meeting many new people. To top it all off, I wasn’t getting enough sleep or the kind of exercise that makes me feel good, like cardio and yoga. After five days of travel I was completely fried.

How can we as highly sensitive people cope with our trait? Here are 12 things we need:

1. Time to decompress
Noisy, busy environments — like a crowded mall during the holidays, a concert, or a big party — can wreak havoc on a sensitive person’s highly reactive nervous system. Likewise, packed schedules and high-pressure situations, like an article deadline or the first day in a new school, are overstimulating. If you know you’ll be in situation that will frazzle you, plan some time to decompress in a quiet space afterward. It’s best if you can be alone. Honestly, there are times I lock myself into the bathroom for a much needed break.

2. Meaningful relationships
We get bored or restless in relationships that lack meaningful interaction, according to Aron. This doesn’t mean we’re prone to relationship hopping, rather, we actually work harder to inspire intimacy and interesting conversation. It also means we’re selective about the people we let into our lives to begin with.
Interestingly, many sensitive people are great to be in a relationship with because they not only tune in to what’s good for them but also to what’s good for others. They pay close attention to what their significant other wants. Aron calls this characteristic “mate sensitivity,” which means the ability to rapidly figure out what pleases their partner and act based on that intel. This behavior goes for friends, family members, and co-workers as well.
Basically, it makes us happy to make others happy.

3. People who support us
Sensitive people may cry or become emotional a lot. “Sensitive people can’t help but express what they’re feeling,” Aron told the Huffington Post. “They show their anger, they show their happiness. Appreciating that is really important.”

4. A gentle, healthy way of managing conflict
No matter who you are, fighting with a loved one is miserable. But sensitive people tend to feel extra anxious when conflict arises — and an internal battle takes place. We feel torn between speaking up for what we believe is right and sitting back so we don’t provoke an angry reaction from the other person. Often we subjugate our own needs because we’d rather “go along to get along” than fight.
On the other hand, sensitive people can make great conflict resolvers, because we tend to see the other person’s perspective. We have high levels of empathy and can easily put ourselves in someone else’s shoes.

5. Time to get things done
Sensitive people like a slower pace of life. We like pondering all our options before making a decision and regularly reflecting on our experiences. We hate busy schedules and rushing from one event to the next.

One of the hardest parts of my day during the work week is getting moving in the morning and leaving my home on time. Saturday mornings, when I don’t have to work, are for going at my own pace. It’s calming and restorative to know I don’t have to be dressed and ready to go anywhere anytime soon.

6. Plenty of sleep
Lack of sleep (less than 7 hours a night, for most people) makes the average person irritable and less productive, but lack of sleep for the sensitive person can make life almost unbearable. Getting enough sleep soothes my ramped-up senses and helps me process my thoughts and emotions. How much sleep I get can literally make or break my next day. Without proper sleep, every little stressor seems ten times worse. HSP’s can have a difficult time getting to sleep as we tend to ruminate about our day. Here’s how you can get Heavenly Sleep.

7. Healthy meals spaced regularly throughout the day
When I don’t eat regularly, I get extremely hungry. This is because, according to Aron, extreme hunger can mess up a sensitive person’s mood or concentration. To fend off feelings of crankiness and discombobulation, maintain a steady blood sugar level throughout the day by eating regular healthy meals and snacks.

8. Caffeine-free options
Sensitive people (surprise, surprise) are sensitive to caffeine. I drink one cup of coffee in the morning to get me going, but I don’t have any caffeine past noon. Even a mug of green tea later in the day would leave me tossing and turning at night. Plus, having too much caffeine leaves me feeling jittery and wound up in an uncomfortable way.
If you’re sensitive, consider limiting your coffee, soda, and tea intake. Watch out for sneaky sources of caffeine, like chocolate. Remember, the darker the chocolate, the more caffeine. For example, Hershey’s Special Dark Chocolate Bar has a walloping 31 milligrams of caffeine, almost as much as a can of Coke!

9. A space of our own
If you live with others, make sure you have a quiet place you can retreat to when you need to get away from noise and people. Turn on your favorite music to drown out any unpleasant external noise.

Dimmer switch

10. Low lighting
If possible, turn off the overhead lights in your home or office and substitute a lamp. I had my husband put a dimmer switch in our bathroom so that the light wouldn’t be so bright first thing in the morning.

11. Time to adjust to change
Transitions aren’t easy for anybody. (Hey! Who wants to stop the madness?) But for sensitive people, transitions can be really rough. Even positive changes, like starting a new relationship or moving into a dream home, can be overstimulating and require an extra long period of adjustment. For example, when we moved a couple of years ago, into our wonderful new home with a view I literally felt off-kilter for months until I got used to my new situation.

12. Beauty and nature
Like most sensitive people, I’m deeply affected by my surroundings, especially the way they look. Cluttered, chaotic, or just plain ugly environments bother me. I feel calm spending time in nature, my city’s favorite neighborhoods, or my simply decorated home (especially when it’s actually clean and tidy!).

When it comes down to it, the key is to embrace your sensitivity rather than work against it. Sensitive people make incredible leaders, partners, and friends. We have high levels of empathy and we’re usually creative and perceptive. Maybe the world could use a little more of what we have.

Are you a highly sensitive person? What do you need? Let me know in the comments below or chat with me on the new Facebook page, Living as A Highly Sensitive Person.

Exactly what does the phrase Highly Sensitive Person mean to you?

In case you had not noticed, over the last couple of weeks I’ve been teaching classes to Highly Sensitive People on how to best communicate with their trait with other people. Especially in a way that supports both parties making it a win-win for everyone.

But what always comes up is the perception people have about the word “sensitive”.

Does it evoke thoughts of someone who seems to be weak, emotionally unstable or overly dramatic? Take a moment to really think about the meaning of the word sensitive.

Does it mean someone that cries easily, complains on a regular basis or gets offended easily?

The simple truth is there is nothing wrong with being sensitive.

There is certainly nothing inherently bad about the word sensitive either.

The dictionary explains it as;

 “Quick to detect or respond to slight changes, signals or influences.”


A Highly Sensitive Person is observant and alert, aware of, conscious of, mindful of small changes around them. This means being tuned into the world as well as every one of its sights, sounds and emotions.

Being a Highly Sensitive Person often means having an appreciation of others feelings. It means being empathic. These are generally essentially positive traits.

Bad Rap?

The words Highly Sensitive usually receives a bad rap. This is because the phrase sensitive is associated with negative meanings. Research shows about 15-20% of the population is sensitive. It crosses gender and specie boundaries and is something people and critters are born with. Highly Sensitive People process sensory data much more deeply as opposed to others because of differences in their nervous systems.

Do you think you are a Highly Sensitive Person?

Lets’ talk a little bit about us.

  • We think deeply about things.
  • We hate making the wrong decisions.
  • We like to do things correct the first time. “Do it right, do it once”
  • We analyze subtle information and also have a difficult time making decisions.

We can become easily overwhelmed by all the information and the details of every piece of information and stimulation which is around us.  We may be incessantly bothered if our physical environment feels uncomfortable.

In case you wanted to know more about us.

We are strongly affected and can be  impacted by most anything. Whether it is violence or horror on the news, television, movies or social media.

Yet we are also empathetic towards the feelings others have. We love and deeply appreciate music, art and poetry.

Does this seem like it could be you? Then, I actually have even more to share with you about being a very sensitive person.

  • You are one of many.
  • You are not wrong.
  • You are not weird!
  • You simply might be highly sensitive.
  • It is much like being right-handed or extroverted. It is just something you are born with, and it is in fact not an illness or even a problem.  It does not need to be fixed, and you do not  have to be cured.

Above all, first and foremost, sensitivity  is not a sign of weakness.

It can be life changing  to discover that you are a highly sensitive individual.

It can open your eyes to many things about yourself which you never understood.

It will also help you accept yourself more.

Above all it can help you to surround yourself with the people that really get you.

Johnnie Urban

Hello Perfect Gift Givers,

This bonus material is a compliment to the audio CD 

“A Perfect Solution to Valentine Gift Madness

An easy guide on How to finally make your Sweetheart happy.”

Link to purchase

  • Want to know how to finally make your Sweetheart happy?
  • Finally understand what a person really wants based on Psychological needs?

Here are some ideas that will jog your creative mind to finding the perfect gift for anyone.

1.  Even if you are not creative you can find something at a craft or hobby store. When you make something unique from your own hands it says I love you like nothing else. Can anyone remember the macaroni necklace your mom kept forever?

2.  Visit a local  “paint your own ceramics” (Color Me Mine) store and create a hand painted bowl or coffee mug.

3.  I got an amazing idea by accident from If you’ve never heard of this service go check it out. A couple of weeks ago I needed a professional 30 sec. commercial for a radio spot I was doing. After it was made I got the idea of what if I got a commercial created for my Grandkids for their birthdays? All you have to do is supply the person you select on Fiverr all the information you want about the person and they will actually create the script for you if you need that.

4.  Put together a gift basket. If you don’t want to over-commit to one gift, assemble a collection of little presents. Pick a cute container, like an embellished basket or box, and dress it up with ribbons, tissue paper, cellophane, or whatever else you have on-hand to make it special. Consider filling it with these items:

Their favorite treat, whether it’s candy, cookies, or a particular store-bought food. A pretty beverage. If you’re old enough to drink, consider buying their favorite beer or a nice bottle of wine.

Stocking stuffer type items: Rely on little items you might use for Christmas stocking stuffers, such as new headphones, new supplies for whatever sport they play (like golf balls or tennis balls), or a few items he can use for hobbies (like grilling tools or colored pencils).

5.  Buy books for your bookworm sweetheart. If you’re dating a reader, hook them up with some new material. Do a little detective work about what they’re  currently reading and what they already have, and try to fill in the blanks with a similar book.

Take advantage of product recommendations. For instance, if you know your sweetheart loved a certain book, ask the clerk at your local bookstore for similar titles. Or, type the title into a service like Amazon and see what other readers bought after reading that one.

6.  If you’re not sure what to buy, get a gift card. Books are a pretty personal gift, and it can be tough to figure out what someone would enjoy reading. If you’re stumped, rely on a gift card. Offer to go shopping with them and make a date of it.Buy music-themed gifts if they are an audiophile. If your loved one is really into music, get them a present that’s in line with their interests.

7.  Here are a few more suggestions:

Write a poem or a love letter of appreciation. I know children and teens that saved such letters forever that their parents wrote to them.

Sure, you might tell them you love them, but it’s nice to have a physical object outlining how you feel, that they can revisit and read whenever they want. This is the perfect gift if you’re on a budget, because it’s the thought — and not the cost — that counts. For extra sentiment, write it out in your own handwriting, and pick a nice sheet of paper.

I’ve written this for him yet I know a lot of women that would love these ideas too.

 8.  Cook  for them. Take advantage of that old saying: “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Whether it’s a simple dessert or a full-fledged meal, presenting your sweetheart with food is a tangible demonstration that you care. Here are some timeless options:

Make them cookies. Don’t know their favorite kind of cookie? Now’s the time to find out! Or, if you want it to be a surprise, go with classic crowd-pleasers like chocolate chip or sugar cookies.

Whip up a decadent chocolate dessert. Try brownies, chocolate-covered strawberries, or an ambitious chocolate soufflé.

Set up a romantic meal. If you want to go all-out on food, make your guy or gal a beautiful Valentine’s Day dinner.

9.  Make a mixtape (or playlist). Putting together a mixtape of songs that are significant to your relationship can be a really meaningful, personalized present, and you don’t have to spend a ton of money to do it. Burn your creation onto a CD for a tangible gift, or send him a digital playlist if you both subscribe to online music services.

Be sure to include “your” song, if you have one. If you don’t, throw a handful of potential candidates into the mix.

Pay attention to subtext. You might really like the sound of a brooding break-up song, but putting it on your playlist might send your sweetheart the wrong message.

Keep it limited. Stick to around 10 songs, give or take a few. That way your loved one can listen to the whole list in one sitting, and remember that they’re meaningful later.

10.   Write your sweetheart a poem. If you enjoy writing and reading poetry, put your talents to use on an individualized poem. Or, write out your feelings in prose. If meter and rhyme aren’t your forte, that’s all right — a prose letter can be just as meaningful!


Borrow someone else’s words. If you’re struggling to write how you feel, rely on the experts for help. Find a famous piece of poetry, and copy it out in your own handwriting, or print it out and frame it in a pretty way. Some classics to get you started:

“Somewhere I have never traveled,” e.e. Cummings

Sonnet XVII, Pablo Neruda

“How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways,” Elizabeth Barret Browning

Shakespeare’s 18th Sonnet

“To a Stranger,” Walt Whitman

“Love’s Philosophy,” Percy Bysshe Shelley

“To Earthward,” Robert Frost

You could also borrow the lyrics of your favorite love song, if you have one. Songs are basically poetry set to music!

11.  Buy him or her a cologne that you like. Cologne is a classic Valentine’s Day present because, in theory, it’s a benefit to both of you — he’ll like smelling awesome, and you’ll like whatever scent you choose for him.

Keep in mind that scents don’t wear the same on everyone. Everyone’s body chemistry is slightly different, so a cologne that smells amazing on one guy might not work for another.

Pay attention to what he already likes. Odds are, your boyfriend wears something that he thinks works for him, so try to stay close to that. If he tends to wear woody, musky colognes, that’s probably a good choice for a gift. On the other hand, if he seems to prefer light, citrusy, clean scents, try to find a gift that’s in the same category.

12.  Pick up some new guitar picks if he’s a guitarist, or drumsticks if he’s a drummer.

Find a good pair of noise-canceling headphones if he listens to a lot of music.

Get him an iTunes gift card or a Spotify subscription.

13.  Support his gaming hobby. If your boyfriend is a big gamer, he’s almost guaranteed to like a gaming-themed gift for Valentine’s Day.

14.  Buy him a new game. See if there are any upcoming releases he’s had his eye on, or ask his buddies what he’s been dying to play. Or, just buy him credits. You can buy the gaming equivalent of a gift card depending on what platform he uses.

15.  Update his controller. Whether he uses a console controller or a mouse, buying him a new piece of hardware could be a great Valentine’s gift.


If Want to know how to finally make your Sweetheart happy.

To Finally understand what a person really wants based on their human psychology needs? 

Download my fun and easy audio CD A Perfect Solution to Valentine Gift Madness

An easy guide on How to finally make your Sweetheart happy  PURCHASE HERE

Fire and Rain

It was early March of 2002, a little bit after midnight near the Queen Mary in Long Beach, California. I was walking barefoot in the worst rain storm Southern California has ever had, and I was freaking out. I was about to walk over hot coals for the first time in my life and I was freaking out because I was getting soaking wet.

As you can imagine, this particular night changed my life forever.

Something I Learned From Tony Robbins.
Back up a few months to November, 2001. At that time, I had been working as a hairstylist for about six years. I loved every aspect of my career. Helping people look and feel their best. Creating works of art with hair and the constant education helped propel me to become one of the top Master stylists in the area. It was not unusual for me to pick up a new client every week or so. And that is how I met a client that would change my life forever. Fast forward to March 2002, I was working on the hair of this new client when out of the blue she asked me if I wanted to attend a Tony Robbins four day Unleash The Power Within event. It was going to be in about a week and about 30 minutes from where I lived.


(If you haven’t heard of Tony Robbins, you can find out more at

Well, I hesitated and kinda said, “Ok?” when she stopped me and said, “Honey, if you say yes, then you have to go and I will get you a ticket.”

Now, I had followed Tony Robbins and read his book and even had an old cassette tape that I enjoyed. I never thought I would end up at an event. And now I was standing there in the pouring rain looking down on really hot coals that I was about to walk on.

This turned out to be a major turning point in my life. And I thank God every day for all the events that had to happen for that client and me to come together.
Since that first event, and every year after that, I have enjoyed attending at least three or more of Tony’s events as a crew member or a Senior Leader, helping support the transformation of thousands of people. I have also taken the steps toward joining Tony Robbins’ coaching team as a certified Strategic Interventionist. I can truly say life has never been the same.

Human Psychology Is Amazing
Because of what I have learned about human psychology and how to get people out of their pain fast, I have left the field of hair styling and am now a full time Life Success Coach and Strategic Interventionist.

How does a Highly Sensitive Person navigate all of this? That is exactly why I wrote this book (Stop The Madness, How the Highly Sensitive Person Can Thrive In a Chaotic World- To help you understand that you too can have a life of meaning and fulfillment.

Tony Robbins has taken human psychology into his teachings and uses the six human needs to help understand how we make decisions in our lives.
I have hundreds of stories about how understanding these 6 HN’s have saved marriages, a relationship with a teenage child, a relationship between a coworker and a boss. I believe they change the course of history in people’s lives.

All human beings share the same six basic human needs. These needs underlie all the choices we make in our lives.

The first need is for Certainty. We want to feel safe, avoid pain and feel comfortable in our environment and our relationships. Every individual needs to have some sense of certainty and security – a roof over one’s head, knowing where the next meal will come from, knowing how to obtain care when one is sick, knowing that a neighbor won’t attack us. These are just a few examples of what constitutes a basic sense of certainty.
Everyone needs certainty but the degree to which certainty is needed or desired varies from person to person. Some people feel secure living in one room and collecting an unemployment check. Others can feel certainty only if they make a million dollars each year. Even though some certainty is necessary to all of us, what constitutes certainty varies from individual to individual. Code words for Certainty are comfort, security, safety, stability, feeling grounded, predictability, and protection.

What It Means To A Highly Sensitive Person
An HSP’s need for certainty is especially high. Controlling their environment and other people can take on an obsessive quality if not kept in check with reality. There are extremes from one end of the spectrum to the other where one person may need to know every little detail about an upcoming trip to relieve their emotional stress and another HSP can relax with a limited amount of information knowing that whatever happens will be absolutely perfect. I see quite a few HSPs never having a long term, successful relationship with someone because there is no certainty in it. They will stay single the rest of their lives rather than take the risk of having an intimate relationship in their lives.

If you want to know what the other 5 Human Needs are sign up for my blog at
Each week I will write for your delight.

Johnnie Urban
Strategic Interventionist
Coaching Highly Sensitive People To Have Extraordinary Fullfilling Lives.

People are saying; “It’s about time!”, “What took you so long!”, “Congratulations, Job well done”

And before that they were saying; “You have so much information in your head and your heart, please get it out!”,  “When are you going to put that in a book?”

So here it is. And what a journey it’s been. Like a roller coaster ride that you’re excited to go on but scared of because you don’t know exactly where it’s going and when it’s going to stop.

Sometimes it felt like I was birthing a baby, I know because I’ve done that three times. At times it was painful, emotionally and physically. Yet, I wouldn’t give it up for anything. It is something that only I could have created, no one else. The joy you feel when you complete a chapter, sometimes when I completed a paragraph, is something that can only come from deep inside you and is pure fulfillment and pride.

So yes, I am extremely proud as any parent would be. Even if you don’t think it’s a topic for you I guarantee you know someone that is highly sensitive and you would love to help them with the information in this book.

I invite you to check it out on Amazon. “Stop The Madness, How the Highly Sensitive Person Can Thrive in a Chaotic World”. To help you out here is a direct link; Purchase Here

*For a limited time it will be at a special price and with proof of purchase I will send you a Companion Journal Workbook and an MP3 meditation music.

All you have to do is email your receipt to; and you will receive your complimentary Pdf download and MP3 music file.

It’s your Life, Let’s make it Wonderful