What? Is that just crazy, or what?
Why would anyone think that a disaster could help us have better lives?

It’s not crazy, or cynical, or even insensitive.

In fact, I actually identify with the traits and abilities of a highly sensitive person. Are you one too?

Over the years, I have learned, as I teach all my students, to decide when to feel and react deeply.
It’s a great feeling to be able to own your emotions instead of them owning you.

Closing your eyes and imagining a pretty box that I can throw those feelings into, tie a ribbon around it and place it on a shelf for later. I call this the Gift of Time Box.

Recently the planet seems to be having a bit of a tantrum. Devastating natural disasters multiple hurricanes, earthquakes, and dormant volcanoes spitting and spuming. Massively disrupting lives all over the world.

And then there was the horrible mass shooting in Las Vegas.

The first day was a horrible day of shock and worry.
Worry for friends that either lives in Las Vegas or were visiting. Until we heard that they are ok, we prayed for them all.
When my husband got home from work I was curled up watching a romantic comedy on Netflix.
I asked my husband to please not turn on the news. He knows me all too well and happily obliged.

The second day, again I purposefully did not turn on the TV.
Visiting Facebook, briefly to check in with people, was my only contact with the news.
Promising myself that I would not bombard my senses with all the bits and pieces of the tragedy until I could handle it.

Even now, as I write this, I cry tears of sadness for all the people that have been touched by this senseless act.

Though images were limited, my imagination is on fire.
I remind myself that HSP’s love to feel deeply. There is nothing wrong with me.
Deep sorrow and deep joy. We can’t help it, we are just born this way.
It can feel like we are being pushed and pulled all at once.
I don’t want to cry right now. But I have to.

Bad stuff will happen in our lifetime.
We will trust deeply and be hurt deeply.

We will love deeply and lose deeply.We will also experience deep joy and delight in the beauty of a child laughing, flowers blooming, and birds singing in the early morning. Being grounded in nature that surrounds us.

The question is, how will you be able to manage the emotions that go with them?

 

So by now the Gift of Time box is bulging with emotions, anger, sadness, fear, and hurt. No worries, it can handle all the emotions until my sensitivities are ready to embrace them.

The time will come when the emotions can be gently handled and that is when we can do something about helping those that have been affected by these disasters.

Will today be better? Time will tell. Maybe the Gift of Time box will come off the shelf today, maybe not.

 

Blessings,

Johnnie Urban

P.S. Another great read,  WHY THIS HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON SEEMS SO INSENSITIVE IN THE WAKE OF THE VEGAS SHOOTING

Exactly what does the phrase Highly Sensitive Person mean to you?

In case you had not noticed, over the last couple of weeks I’ve been teaching classes to Highly Sensitive People on how to best communicate with their trait with other people. Especially in a way that supports both parties making it a win-win for everyone.

But what always comes up is the perception people have about the word “sensitive”.

Does it evoke thoughts of someone who seems to be weak, emotionally unstable or overly dramatic? Take a moment to really think about the meaning of the word sensitive.

Does it mean someone that cries easily, complains on a regular basis or gets offended easily?

The simple truth is there is nothing wrong with being sensitive.

There is certainly nothing inherently bad about the word sensitive either.

The dictionary explains it as;

 “Quick to detect or respond to slight changes, signals or influences.”

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A Highly Sensitive Person is observant and alert, aware of, conscious of, mindful of small changes around them. This means being tuned into the world as well as every one of its sights, sounds and emotions.

Being a Highly Sensitive Person often means having an appreciation of others feelings. It means being empathic. These are generally essentially positive traits.

Bad Rap?

The words Highly Sensitive usually receives a bad rap. This is because the phrase sensitive is associated with negative meanings. Research shows about 15-20% of the population is sensitive. It crosses gender and specie boundaries and is something people and critters are born with. Highly Sensitive People process sensory data much more deeply as opposed to others because of differences in their nervous systems.

Do you think you are a Highly Sensitive Person?

Lets’ talk a little bit about us.

  • We think deeply about things.
  • We hate making the wrong decisions.
  • We like to do things correct the first time. “Do it right, do it once”
  • We analyze subtle information and also have a difficult time making decisions.

We can become easily overwhelmed by all the information and the details of every piece of information and stimulation which is around us.  We may be incessantly bothered if our physical environment feels uncomfortable.

In case you wanted to know more about us.

We are strongly affected and can be  impacted by most anything. Whether it is violence or horror on the news, television, movies or social media.

Yet we are also empathetic towards the feelings others have. We love and deeply appreciate music, art and poetry.

Does this seem like it could be you? Then, I actually have even more to share with you about being a very sensitive person.

  • You are one of many.
  • You are not wrong.
  • You are not weird!
  • You simply might be highly sensitive.
  • It is much like being right-handed or extroverted. It is just something you are born with, and it is in fact not an illness or even a problem.  It does not need to be fixed, and you do not  have to be cured.

Above all, first and foremost, sensitivity  is not a sign of weakness.

It can be life changing  to discover that you are a highly sensitive individual.

It can open your eyes to many things about yourself which you never understood.

It will also help you accept yourself more.

Above all it can help you to surround yourself with the people that really get you.

Johnnie Urban

Have you ever found yourself so feeling deeply about something you burst into tears of joy? How about exhausted and overwhelmed being in a certain chaotic environment? What if you could learn that this was normal for a Highly Sensitive Person and that your traits are abilities, when nurtured, will expand your life beyond belief. 

Peace…
“It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.”

When I was growing up, I distinctly remember hating it whenever I heard someone else complaining about and judging someone. I always needed to defend the underdog and tell the judgers to just let them be who they are. It quickly became my motto, just let them BE!

Now I realize it was because when I heard or saw people treating others wrong, I felt it deeply within myself and I needed it to stop.

RollerCoaster - Highly Sensitive Person

Roller Coaster Ride

Learning to manage this “feeling deeply” trait of a Highly Sensitive Person has been a roller coaster ride for me. I’ve heard a great deal of advice from a lot of well-meaning people who practically drove me crazy. I always felt like they were telling me there was something wrong with me and THEY had the magic method that would fix it.

Feeling deeply, for a Highly Sensitive Person, is as natural as breathing air.

When feeling deeply is beautiful and expanding you will feel alive and authentic to your core. When it is gut wrenching, torture, and exhausting is when we want the madness to stop. I am here to tell you that you have a choice of doing what works best for you.
Yes, being a  Highly Sensitive Person will be the cause of tears while experiencing a beautiful song that moves you, or a work of art, or a flower in your garden. It will also cause you to stop an injustice, help someone get out of their pain, or build a successful business that employs people and contributes to the community.

A piece of who they are

If someone were to ask a Highly Sensitive Person to stop feeling deeply as a way to protect themselves, then they are also asking them to give up a piece of who they are. Will there be times that you will feel overwhelmed with emotion when it’s not convenient? Absolutely! That is when you will need to use some useful techniques that I have developed and taught many Highly Sensitive People over the years.

Of everything that you will read and learn and in your own personal experiences about Highly Sensitive People there is one thing that’s really important for you to know. We may fit into the description of being a Highly Sensitive Person, but we are all uniquely different. As unique as our fingerprints. Even identical twins have their own unique attributes.

IMG_2180 - Highly Sensitive Person

Back when I was a child, I wished that there was someone I could have spoken to about this stuff. I was so confused, alone, and unsure about what I was experiencing in my life every moment of every day. That is exactly why I have taken my coaching, teaching passion and experiences into helping people like you that are still looking for the answers to your Highly Sensitive challenges.Tapping into my Highly Sensitive traits and experiences as an ability makes me a unique coach for people like you.
I chose as the title of my book, Stop The Madness, How the Highly Sensitive Person Can Thrive In A Chaotic World, because there are so many Highly Sensitive People out there in the world that are suffering from overwhelm, exhaustion, and the crazy-making of other people.

Beautiful Talented People

These are beautifully talented people that are hiding, not using their gifts and abilities because the very thought of possibly being overwhelmed is terrifying and exhausting.

Did you know that Highly Sensitive People are designed to be giving? If we are not giving our love, joy, happiness, and heartfelt gratefulness, then we are only existing, not thriving. And because a Highly Sensitive Person is so attuned to what is working and not working, we will feel guilt and shame if we are not contributing.

This is an example of what Highly Sensitive People will learn about  their  traits and abilities and how they can be a challenge and a blessing.
You will also learn how to transform your emotional and physical pain into a new, wonderful You that contributes to your relationships, community, and even the world.

It’s your life, let’s make it wonderful.

LR half body treesRev. Johnnie Marie Urban is an Author, Speaker, Workshop facilitator.

Founder of Wonderful Life Learning Co. a Christian based Life Success Coaching & Consulting Company specializing in teaching the Highly Sensitive People how to thrive in the chaotic world.

This is where people come to uncover and explore what their HSP talents and abilities are so that you can have a fulfilled life without the worries of exhaustion and overwhelm.

Certified Strategic Interventionist, Master Life & Business Success Coach, MNLP, MHt. MTT. Christian counselor, Wife, Mother, Grandma, friend and a Highly Sensitive Person.

www.EverythingHSP.com

Email: Johnnie@everythinghsp.com

Her book, “Stop The Madness” is on Amazon.com

Stop The Madness Book

Hello Community,

This weeks blog is going to take a slightly different direction from my usual stories.

I just have to share with you a piece of time sensitive information that I just received.

As you might know Elaine Aron, Phd is the foremost authority on the research of the Highly Sensitive Person.

Movie Premier Sold Out

She and her team are about to have the premier of the movie Sensitive, the Untold Story on September 10, 7:30 pm.

As you would guess this movie was created so that the world would be able to understand what being a Highly Sensitive Person is all about.

Good News-Live Streaming

The Premier in San Francisco is sold out, however live streaming of the event will be available for 48 hours.

Hurry NOW the price is only $20 until September 6th, after that it will be $30.

Here is the link for more information: http://sensitivethemovie.com

Exciting News

Family Jumping at the Beach

I am so looking forward to this movie as it is designed to shed some light on the Highly Sensitive Person, their traits and abilities.

Whenever I talk about Highly Sensitive People I almost always get comments of “Be careful about putting that label on people.”, and “The sensitive nature of people is a choice and is just bad behavior.”

One side of me gets irritated that these comments are insensitive and hurtful (my reactive sensitive side) the other side of me (the patient, loving sensitive side) is saying, “Bless your heart, you need some insight on the trait.”

Labeling Is Not Fair

Labeling a person, no matter what it is, is not what this is about. Some HSP will feel “superior” or “special”. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel significant as along as it is not hurtful to ourselves or others.

For me, I feel insightful and curious that all people are unique with their own special gifts, abilities and traits and I feel if we can understand each other a little deeper we would all get along and work together better.

Good news, now we have a movie. Can’t wait to watch and share it.

Blessings,

JohnnieUrban
www.everythinghsp.com.com
It’s Your Life, Let’s Make It Wonderful.

Ps, Again, Here is the link, I promise you will love it. http://sensitivethemovie.com

This is the second of six consecutive blogs where I am sharing The 6 Human Needs as taught by Tony Robbins (Tonyrobbins.com).

As a graduate of the Robbins/Madanes Strategic Interventionist Coach Training program this has become my favorite core learnings from the program.

Last week I shared with you the first need CERTAINTY. This week I will be sharing with you the paradox UNCERTAINTY.

Challenges of the Highly Sensitive Person HSPARE YOU REALLY CERTAIN?
Can you remember when was the last time you were absolutely certain about every aspect of your life. You knew without a shadow of a doubt that everything was going to be all right.

HOW ABOUT TRUSTING THAT…
Your bills were all going to get paid. Your spouse or child loved you no matter what. You were going to have a job tomorrow. Your health was perfect. How about trusting that, while you’re driving down the street or highway, the car on the other side of the white line was going to stay there?

SURPRISES?
How many of you like surprises? Most of you would say “Yea”.
But you need to think about ALL surprises not just the ones you want. Not all surprises are good ones. Some of us like to be scared a little and seek out scary movies and read scary novels. Some of us don’t even like to watch the evening news right before bed because it gives us nightmares.

New Life and Old Life Words on Red and Blue Road signCONFLICTING NEEDS
The 6 Human Needs are where I start when I begin to work with people who are struggling with their lives. I find that where there is a struggle there is a conflict in two of their top needs. Sorting out what is “out of wack” makes all the difference in how fast a person moves from chaos to thriving and getting the results they want.

 

 

 

All human beings share the same six basic human needs. These needs underlie all the choices we make in our lives.

UNCERTAINTY and VARIETY

The second need is for Uncertainty – for variety and challenges that exercise our emotional and physical range. Everyone needs some variety in life.  Our bodies, our minds, our emotional well-being all require uncertainty, exercise, suspense, and surprise.

Just as a sense of security is reassuring, so the excitement that comes from variety is necessary to feel alive. For some, variety may be satisfied by watching the news on television; others may seek extreme high-risk activities such as extreme sports.
Descriptive words for Uncertainty/Variety are: fear, thrills, instability, change, entertainment, suspense, exertion, surprise, conflict, and crisis.

Happy woman with bunch of flowersSENSITIVE PEOPLE
To a Highly Sensitive Person, having too much uncertainty and variety is overwhelming for them. It can be a major form of stress in their lives. Yet I know plenty of HSPs that have high energy jobs, careers, hobbies, and friends, and they do just fine. According to research, there is a subset of HSP. About 30% of all HSPs are to some degree known a High Sensation Seekers, or HSS.

I happen to score high as an HSS. I can get bored easily and want lots of variety. My challenge is to find a sweet spot where I don’t bite off more than I can chew. In other words, I must not overcommit to doing something and then not be able to follow through because I got too overstimulated and exhausted.

 

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT

  • So now that you know what two of the six needs are can you begin to guess if you have any conflicts?
  • Where are you fearful in your life?
  • Are you trying to get certainty by trying to control too much?
  • Perhaps you are bored because too much uncertainty is scary.

 

UNIQUELY YOU
Each pVisionerson is unique and different in where they fall on the scale of balance. Finding that balance for you is what I do.

Coaching people, just like you, the skill of how to create the balance they NEED everyday and for the rest of their lives.

Peace…
“It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.”

Johnnie Urban
Strategic Interventionist
Coaching Highly Sensitive People How To Thrive In A Chaotic World
www.EverythingHSP.com

Fire and Rain

It was early March of 2002, a little bit after midnight near the Queen Mary in Long Beach, California. I was walking barefoot in the worst rain storm Southern California has ever had, and I was freaking out. I was about to walk over hot coals for the first time in my life and I was freaking out because I was getting soaking wet.

As you can imagine, this particular night changed my life forever.

Something I Learned From Tony Robbins.
Back up a few months to November, 2001. At that time, I had been working as a hairstylist for about six years. I loved every aspect of my career. Helping people look and feel their best. Creating works of art with hair and the constant education helped propel me to become one of the top Master stylists in the area. It was not unusual for me to pick up a new client every week or so. And that is how I met a client that would change my life forever. Fast forward to March 2002, I was working on the hair of this new client when out of the blue she asked me if I wanted to attend a Tony Robbins four day Unleash The Power Within event. It was going to be in about a week and about 30 minutes from where I lived.

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(If you haven’t heard of Tony Robbins, you can find out more at TonyRobbins.com.)

Well, I hesitated and kinda said, “Ok?” when she stopped me and said, “Honey, if you say yes, then you have to go and I will get you a ticket.”

Now, I had followed Tony Robbins and read his book and even had an old cassette tape that I enjoyed. I never thought I would end up at an event. And now I was standing there in the pouring rain looking down on really hot coals that I was about to walk on.

This turned out to be a major turning point in my life. And I thank God every day for all the events that had to happen for that client and me to come together.
Since that first event, and every year after that, I have enjoyed attending at least three or more of Tony’s events as a crew member or a Senior Leader, helping support the transformation of thousands of people. I have also taken the steps toward joining Tony Robbins’ coaching team as a certified Strategic Interventionist. I can truly say life has never been the same.

Human Psychology Is Amazing
Because of what I have learned about human psychology and how to get people out of their pain fast, I have left the field of hair styling and am now a full time Life Success Coach and Strategic Interventionist.

How does a Highly Sensitive Person navigate all of this? That is exactly why I wrote this book (Stop The Madness, How the Highly Sensitive Person Can Thrive In a Chaotic World-http://tinyurl.com/oy6spll). To help you understand that you too can have a life of meaning and fulfillment.

Tony Robbins has taken human psychology into his teachings and uses the six human needs to help understand how we make decisions in our lives.
I have hundreds of stories about how understanding these 6 HN’s have saved marriages, a relationship with a teenage child, a relationship between a coworker and a boss. I believe they change the course of history in people’s lives.

All human beings share the same six basic human needs. These needs underlie all the choices we make in our lives.

CERTAINTY
The first need is for Certainty. We want to feel safe, avoid pain and feel comfortable in our environment and our relationships. Every individual needs to have some sense of certainty and security – a roof over one’s head, knowing where the next meal will come from, knowing how to obtain care when one is sick, knowing that a neighbor won’t attack us. These are just a few examples of what constitutes a basic sense of certainty.
Everyone needs certainty but the degree to which certainty is needed or desired varies from person to person. Some people feel secure living in one room and collecting an unemployment check. Others can feel certainty only if they make a million dollars each year. Even though some certainty is necessary to all of us, what constitutes certainty varies from individual to individual. Code words for Certainty are comfort, security, safety, stability, feeling grounded, predictability, and protection.

What It Means To A Highly Sensitive Person
An HSP’s need for certainty is especially high. Controlling their environment and other people can take on an obsessive quality if not kept in check with reality. There are extremes from one end of the spectrum to the other where one person may need to know every little detail about an upcoming trip to relieve their emotional stress and another HSP can relax with a limited amount of information knowing that whatever happens will be absolutely perfect. I see quite a few HSPs never having a long term, successful relationship with someone because there is no certainty in it. They will stay single the rest of their lives rather than take the risk of having an intimate relationship in their lives.

If you want to know what the other 5 Human Needs are sign up for my blog at www.EverythingHSP.com
Each week I will write for your delight.

Blessings,
Johnnie Urban
Strategic Interventionist
Coaching Highly Sensitive People To Have Extraordinary Fullfilling Lives.
#wonderfullife

Missing In Action?

Missing in Action?

Why you haven’t seen much of me lately.

If you haven’t noticed that my blog has taken the last few months off that’s ok. We are all busy and have extraordinary lives that seem to dictate each and every minute of our waking lives.

Earlier this year my family was experiencing some life changing milestones. Even though I tried to keep on writing and sharing insights with you, my brain and heart were being held hostage in what we were experiencing.

The details are not important. What IS important is TODAY.

The journey that we all go on that develops us into who we are BEING is whats important.

Who are we BEING TODAY that makes the journey all worth it?

If I had a choice would I choose the difficult and challenging life?

You Betcha!

How much pressure and time does it take to turn an ugly piece of coal into a perfect beautiful diamond?

I’m far from being that perfect diamond even though today I think I do sparkle most of the time

Sitting on our sofa last night I was just sharing with my husband that even though the last 5 years have been challenging (he says sucked big time) I wouldn’t change it for anything.

That unexpected chapter in my life brought me to my knees, literally. And it seemed, at the time, that I would never heal and that we were doomed at having to settle for what our lives had become.

But the most valuable distinction I learned from the experience is something that I NEVER THOUGHT  was even in my awareness.

And now I DEEPLY understand;

Life doesn’t happen to you, It happens for you.

JwJ

Stay tuned, more to come :)

I would LOVE to hear any comments and words of learnings at
info@everythinghsp.com

Johnnie Urban
www.EverythingHSP.com
714-403-9256
It’s Your Life, let’s Make It Wonderful

Disclaimer, No words were harmed in the writing of this blog, however grammar and punctuation may have taken a hit