I realize that you haven’t heard from me in a while and want to let you know that all is good.
One of the trips I took recently, in early October, 2015 was to actually meet and work with Dr. Elaine Aron at an equine (horse) center. Not an easy task for me as I am respectfully afraid of these beautiful creatures.
This three day program was specifically designed for us to learn about ourselves through these highly sensitive animals.
I really wanted to write about the experience as soon as I arrived home but I have found that I am still processing the experience.
Deep processing is what we are best at, isn’t it?
So until I can sit down and write something coherent about the learnings I received from this experience I want to share with you an article from Dr. Elaine Aron.
I wanted to share this particular article with you because there are so many people out there that seem to be targeting HSP as if we are the “hot topic“ right now.
Trying to get us to sign up with them for a product or service that is supposed to help us and yet they have no clue what we are about. They have’t done the homework to completely know what our needs are. I work hard everyday studying our traits and abilities to not only understand myself better but to support the decision I made to dedicate the rest of my life teaching HSP’s how they too can thrive in the chaotic world.
(As I wrote this I want you to be aware that I just completed the requirements to be certified and added to Elaine Aron’s website as being an expert coach with Highly Sensitive People.)
Blessings and happy reading,
The Sensitive Coach
Let the HSP Beware: “What about All those Websites?”
May 2011, Dr. Elaine Aron
From time to time, someone asks me what I think about all the websites and chat rooms, writers and professionals, all focusing on HSPs. I’m usually asked in a tone that implies I must disapprove of some of them. Actually, I do not keep track much–it saves me from worrying about what I can’t change. I remember my agent wanting me to trademark “Highly Sensitive Person” so that I could control its use, but it’s a scientific term, not a product. Nor is it possible to police something like this. It simply must blossom in all of its various ways.
Happily, I know that many people are doing wonderful things. I also know that, of course, a few people use the idea in ways I would not, say things about the trait that lack scientific basis (or that even contradicts the research), and associate it with things I’d rather it not be associated with, but that’s what happens with a useful concept having broad application. True, I particularly worry when people are trying to counsel people without professional training or sell products as if all HSPs need those things. However, I’m pretty fussy.
The alternative would be to pass judgment on people–to “certify” some and reject others. It seems like a terrible role to place myself in. Even if someone is listed on my own website, it does not mean they are officially sanctified by me! They are just there. Alas, my refusal to direct traffic in our HSP world means that some of you will be misled at times, perhaps seriously, or waste your money. On the other hand, I will not be directing you away from people who might be good for you personally. So I have followed a mentor’s advice, “Let the marketplace take care of it.” That means that you will have to be discerning instead of me. If you find you made a mistake in trusting something, please pass that on to others, speaking as objectively and specifically as you can, and preferably without making global judgments of character! Do the same when something does work for you.
Above all, retain a skeptical, “scientific,” wait-and-see attitude, in all things. I find that we HSPs tend to be trusting, or at least very open-minded, especially when someone mentions “HSP.” Given our trait, we ought to be more careful than others in making our decisions, and I think we are, in general. But we are enthusiastic about all things “HSP,” of course. Further, if you are one of those who have been seriously misused in the past, it is possible to reenact that again and again.
So have a dash of skepticism. One very thoughtful sensitive man told me that he equated being highly sensitive with being a good person. Oh dear. It’s never that simple. We all have our histories, resulting in us all having our “shadow side.”
Maybe take the attitude that every product and service has a weakness, because nothing can do everything and most things have unwanted side effects. For example, allopathic medicine is not perfect and neither is any alternative approach. Until we know a thing’s shortcomings as well as its strengths, we really do not know it enough to invest very much in it. With people, until you have a sense of their shadow side, you can be warm, but you do not know them well enough to commit yourself fully. This bit of caution saves your own feelings, and saves you having to hurt their feelings later.
In short, as Confucius would probably say, “Be thoughtfully, respectfully careful in all matters new to you.”