What? Is that just crazy, or what?
Why would anyone think that a disaster could help us have better lives?

It’s not crazy, or cynical, or even insensitive.

In fact, I actually identify with the traits and abilities of a highly sensitive person. Are you one too?

Over the years, I have learned, as I teach all my students, to decide when to feel and react deeply.
It’s a great feeling to be able to own your emotions instead of them owning you.

Closing your eyes and imagining a pretty box that I can throw those feelings into, tie a ribbon around it and place it on a shelf for later. I call this the Gift of Time Box.

Recently the planet seems to be having a bit of a tantrum. Devastating natural disasters multiple hurricanes, earthquakes, and dormant volcanoes spitting and spuming. Massively disrupting lives all over the world.

And then there was the horrible mass shooting in Las Vegas.

The first day was a horrible day of shock and worry.
Worry for friends that either lives in Las Vegas or were visiting. Until we heard that they are ok, we prayed for them all.
When my husband got home from work I was curled up watching a romantic comedy on Netflix.
I asked my husband to please not turn on the news. He knows me all too well and happily obliged.

The second day, again I purposefully did not turn on the TV.
Visiting Facebook, briefly to check in with people, was my only contact with the news.
Promising myself that I would not bombard my senses with all the bits and pieces of the tragedy until I could handle it.

Even now, as I write this, I cry tears of sadness for all the people that have been touched by this senseless act.

Though images were limited, my imagination is on fire.
I remind myself that HSP’s love to feel deeply. There is nothing wrong with me.
Deep sorrow and deep joy. We can’t help it, we are just born this way.
It can feel like we are being pushed and pulled all at once.
I don’t want to cry right now. But I have to.

Bad stuff will happen in our lifetime.
We will trust deeply and be hurt deeply.

We will love deeply and lose deeply.We will also experience deep joy and delight in the beauty of a child laughing, flowers blooming, and birds singing in the early morning. Being grounded in nature that surrounds us.

The question is, how will you be able to manage the emotions that go with them?

 

So by now the Gift of Time box is bulging with emotions, anger, sadness, fear, and hurt. No worries, it can handle all the emotions until my sensitivities are ready to embrace them.

The time will come when the emotions can be gently handled and that is when we can do something about helping those that have been affected by these disasters.

Will today be better? Time will tell. Maybe the Gift of Time box will come off the shelf today, maybe not.

 

Blessings,

Johnnie Urban

P.S. Another great read,  WHY THIS HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON SEEMS SO INSENSITIVE IN THE WAKE OF THE VEGAS SHOOTING

Women Sitting In Chair Deep In Thought
If you’re a highly sensitive person like me, you know little things can be too much. Busy environments, violent images in movies, or weekends with little downtime can stress you out. Because you’re so in tune with your environment and other people, life can be pretty exhausting, which makes you withdraw — and non-sensitives don’t understand.

But there’s nothing wrong with you and you’re not alone. High sensitivity is actually fairly common, found in 15 to 20 percent of the population, according to Dr. Elaine N. Aron, author of the book, The Highly Sensitive Person. Both introverts and extroverts can be sensitive, as well as people of all personality types.

Sadly, because many people don’t understand what high sensitivity is, you may have been told to “toughen up” or “just get over it.” You may have always felt different from other people, but you didn’t have a name for what you were.

High sensitivity can make life challenging but not impossible. When I’m in a routine and doing plenty of self-care, I forget about my sensitivity. But a recent trip reminded me of just how frazzled my senses can get. I was rushing from one activity to the next, hanging out in loud crowded restaurants, and meeting many new people. To top it all off, I wasn’t getting enough sleep or the kind of exercise that makes me feel good, like cardio and yoga. After five days of travel I was completely fried.

How can we as highly sensitive people cope with our trait? Here are 12 things we need:

1. Time to decompress
Noisy, busy environments — like a crowded mall during the holidays, a concert, or a big party — can wreak havoc on a sensitive person’s highly reactive nervous system. Likewise, packed schedules and high-pressure situations, like an article deadline or the first day in a new school, are overstimulating. If you know you’ll be in situation that will frazzle you, plan some time to decompress in a quiet space afterward. It’s best if you can be alone. Honestly, there are times I lock myself into the bathroom for a much needed break.

2. Meaningful relationships
We get bored or restless in relationships that lack meaningful interaction, according to Aron. This doesn’t mean we’re prone to relationship hopping, rather, we actually work harder to inspire intimacy and interesting conversation. It also means we’re selective about the people we let into our lives to begin with.
Interestingly, many sensitive people are great to be in a relationship with because they not only tune in to what’s good for them but also to what’s good for others. They pay close attention to what their significant other wants. Aron calls this characteristic “mate sensitivity,” which means the ability to rapidly figure out what pleases their partner and act based on that intel. This behavior goes for friends, family members, and co-workers as well.
Basically, it makes us happy to make others happy.

3. People who support us
Sensitive people may cry or become emotional a lot. “Sensitive people can’t help but express what they’re feeling,” Aron told the Huffington Post. “They show their anger, they show their happiness. Appreciating that is really important.”

4. A gentle, healthy way of managing conflict
No matter who you are, fighting with a loved one is miserable. But sensitive people tend to feel extra anxious when conflict arises — and an internal battle takes place. We feel torn between speaking up for what we believe is right and sitting back so we don’t provoke an angry reaction from the other person. Often we subjugate our own needs because we’d rather “go along to get along” than fight.
On the other hand, sensitive people can make great conflict resolvers, because we tend to see the other person’s perspective. We have high levels of empathy and can easily put ourselves in someone else’s shoes.

5. Time to get things done
Sensitive people like a slower pace of life. We like pondering all our options before making a decision and regularly reflecting on our experiences. We hate busy schedules and rushing from one event to the next.

One of the hardest parts of my day during the work week is getting moving in the morning and leaving my home on time. Saturday mornings, when I don’t have to work, are for going at my own pace. It’s calming and restorative to know I don’t have to be dressed and ready to go anywhere anytime soon.

6. Plenty of sleep
Lack of sleep (less than 7 hours a night, for most people) makes the average person irritable and less productive, but lack of sleep for the sensitive person can make life almost unbearable. Getting enough sleep soothes my ramped-up senses and helps me process my thoughts and emotions. How much sleep I get can literally make or break my next day. Without proper sleep, every little stressor seems ten times worse. HSP’s can have a difficult time getting to sleep as we tend to ruminate about our day. Here’s how you can get Heavenly Sleep.

7. Healthy meals spaced regularly throughout the day
When I don’t eat regularly, I get extremely hungry. This is because, according to Aron, extreme hunger can mess up a sensitive person’s mood or concentration. To fend off feelings of crankiness and discombobulation, maintain a steady blood sugar level throughout the day by eating regular healthy meals and snacks.

8. Caffeine-free options
Sensitive people (surprise, surprise) are sensitive to caffeine. I drink one cup of coffee in the morning to get me going, but I don’t have any caffeine past noon. Even a mug of green tea later in the day would leave me tossing and turning at night. Plus, having too much caffeine leaves me feeling jittery and wound up in an uncomfortable way.
If you’re sensitive, consider limiting your coffee, soda, and tea intake. Watch out for sneaky sources of caffeine, like chocolate. Remember, the darker the chocolate, the more caffeine. For example, Hershey’s Special Dark Chocolate Bar has a walloping 31 milligrams of caffeine, almost as much as a can of Coke!

9. A space of our own
If you live with others, make sure you have a quiet place you can retreat to when you need to get away from noise and people. Turn on your favorite music to drown out any unpleasant external noise.

Dimmer switch

10. Low lighting
If possible, turn off the overhead lights in your home or office and substitute a lamp. I had my husband put a dimmer switch in our bathroom so that the light wouldn’t be so bright first thing in the morning.

11. Time to adjust to change
Transitions aren’t easy for anybody. (Hey! Who wants to stop the madness?) But for sensitive people, transitions can be really rough. Even positive changes, like starting a new relationship or moving into a dream home, can be overstimulating and require an extra long period of adjustment. For example, when we moved a couple of years ago, into our wonderful new home with a view I literally felt off-kilter for months until I got used to my new situation.

12. Beauty and nature
Like most sensitive people, I’m deeply affected by my surroundings, especially the way they look. Cluttered, chaotic, or just plain ugly environments bother me. I feel calm spending time in nature, my city’s favorite neighborhoods, or my simply decorated home (especially when it’s actually clean and tidy!).

When it comes down to it, the key is to embrace your sensitivity rather than work against it. Sensitive people make incredible leaders, partners, and friends. We have high levels of empathy and we’re usually creative and perceptive. Maybe the world could use a little more of what we have.

Are you a highly sensitive person? What do you need? Let me know in the comments below or chat with me on the new Facebook page, Living as A Highly Sensitive Person.

Exactly what does the phrase Highly Sensitive Person mean to you?

In case you had not noticed, over the last couple of weeks I’ve been teaching classes to Highly Sensitive People on how to best communicate with their trait with other people. Especially in a way that supports both parties making it a win-win for everyone.

But what always comes up is the perception people have about the word “sensitive”.

Does it evoke thoughts of someone who seems to be weak, emotionally unstable or overly dramatic? Take a moment to really think about the meaning of the word sensitive.

Does it mean someone that cries easily, complains on a regular basis or gets offended easily?

The simple truth is there is nothing wrong with being sensitive.

There is certainly nothing inherently bad about the word sensitive either.

The dictionary explains it as;

 “Quick to detect or respond to slight changes, signals or influences.”

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A Highly Sensitive Person is observant and alert, aware of, conscious of, mindful of small changes around them. This means being tuned into the world as well as every one of its sights, sounds and emotions.

Being a Highly Sensitive Person often means having an appreciation of others feelings. It means being empathic. These are generally essentially positive traits.

Bad Rap?

The words Highly Sensitive usually receives a bad rap. This is because the phrase sensitive is associated with negative meanings. Research shows about 15-20% of the population is sensitive. It crosses gender and specie boundaries and is something people and critters are born with. Highly Sensitive People process sensory data much more deeply as opposed to others because of differences in their nervous systems.

Do you think you are a Highly Sensitive Person?

Lets’ talk a little bit about us.

  • We think deeply about things.
  • We hate making the wrong decisions.
  • We like to do things correct the first time. “Do it right, do it once”
  • We analyze subtle information and also have a difficult time making decisions.

We can become easily overwhelmed by all the information and the details of every piece of information and stimulation which is around us.  We may be incessantly bothered if our physical environment feels uncomfortable.

In case you wanted to know more about us.

We are strongly affected and can be  impacted by most anything. Whether it is violence or horror on the news, television, movies or social media.

Yet we are also empathetic towards the feelings others have. We love and deeply appreciate music, art and poetry.

Does this seem like it could be you? Then, I actually have even more to share with you about being a very sensitive person.

  • You are one of many.
  • You are not wrong.
  • You are not weird!
  • You simply might be highly sensitive.
  • It is much like being right-handed or extroverted. It is just something you are born with, and it is in fact not an illness or even a problem.  It does not need to be fixed, and you do not  have to be cured.

Above all, first and foremost, sensitivity  is not a sign of weakness.

It can be life changing  to discover that you are a highly sensitive individual.

It can open your eyes to many things about yourself which you never understood.

It will also help you accept yourself more.

Above all it can help you to surround yourself with the people that really get you.

Johnnie Urban

Hello HSP friends,

I know I have been inconsistent lately
with my writing to you.

It’s just that I’ve been a little overwhelmed
with everything that I am supposed to be doing
with not only my mission but also my own
health and my family life.

Some things can fall through the cracks when
a lot is going on. I’m sure you can relate to what
I have been experiencing.

Does it give you any comfort that even I,
the master of preventing overwhelm, can still
have a challenge with it?

If you are following me on Facebook,
Pinterest, and Twitter you will have seen that
I am posting something every day.

Social media has become my “go to place”
4-smiley-facesfor me to easily share with my Highly Sensitive friends.

I always share a quick tip about living as an HSP.
Something encouraging and inspiring plus a
smattering of other peoples shares that I think
you would relate to.

Needless to say I am still learning how to balance
all that the world throws at me PLUS all that fills
me up with great joy that I want to continue to experience.
(Does this sound like you too).

The best news is that as I experience this balance
I will share it with you so that we can be on this fun
journey together.

“Vulnerability is something Highly Sensitive
People do not like, AT ALL.
And the FEAR of being vulnerable is even bigger.”

So I am declaring, right now, that you are going
to see me model being vulnerable and how you can
also learn from it. Embracing it and moving through it.

Join me on Facebook at: Living as a Highly Sensitive Person
We will, laugh, cry, learn and support each other.

There are several ways I work with clients:

-Individual coaching programs

-Group coaching programs

-Personalized programs

To schedule a time to learn more about how I can help you,

click here: 60 MIN.Stop The Madness and Thrive Session, my online calendar.

Or send me an email message at info@everythinghsp.com

Or call me at (714-403-9256)

Blessings,

Johnnie Urban

The Sensitive Coach

Wonderful Life Learning

P.S. Do you want to find out what the 7 Needs of a Highly Sensitive Person Are?

Have you ever found yourself so feeling deeply about something you burst into tears of joy? How about exhausted and overwhelmed being in a certain chaotic environment? What if you could learn that this was normal for a Highly Sensitive Person and that your traits are abilities, when nurtured, will expand your life beyond belief. 

Peace…
“It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.”

When I was growing up, I distinctly remember hating it whenever I heard someone else complaining about and judging someone. I always needed to defend the underdog and tell the judgers to just let them be who they are. It quickly became my motto, just let them BE!

Now I realize it was because when I heard or saw people treating others wrong, I felt it deeply within myself and I needed it to stop.

RollerCoaster - Highly Sensitive Person

Roller Coaster Ride

Learning to manage this “feeling deeply” trait of a Highly Sensitive Person has been a roller coaster ride for me. I’ve heard a great deal of advice from a lot of well-meaning people who practically drove me crazy. I always felt like they were telling me there was something wrong with me and THEY had the magic method that would fix it.

Feeling deeply, for a Highly Sensitive Person, is as natural as breathing air.

When feeling deeply is beautiful and expanding you will feel alive and authentic to your core. When it is gut wrenching, torture, and exhausting is when we want the madness to stop. I am here to tell you that you have a choice of doing what works best for you.
Yes, being a  Highly Sensitive Person will be the cause of tears while experiencing a beautiful song that moves you, or a work of art, or a flower in your garden. It will also cause you to stop an injustice, help someone get out of their pain, or build a successful business that employs people and contributes to the community.

A piece of who they are

If someone were to ask a Highly Sensitive Person to stop feeling deeply as a way to protect themselves, then they are also asking them to give up a piece of who they are. Will there be times that you will feel overwhelmed with emotion when it’s not convenient? Absolutely! That is when you will need to use some useful techniques that I have developed and taught many Highly Sensitive People over the years.

Of everything that you will read and learn and in your own personal experiences about Highly Sensitive People there is one thing that’s really important for you to know. We may fit into the description of being a Highly Sensitive Person, but we are all uniquely different. As unique as our fingerprints. Even identical twins have their own unique attributes.

IMG_2180 - Highly Sensitive Person

Back when I was a child, I wished that there was someone I could have spoken to about this stuff. I was so confused, alone, and unsure about what I was experiencing in my life every moment of every day. That is exactly why I have taken my coaching, teaching passion and experiences into helping people like you that are still looking for the answers to your Highly Sensitive challenges.Tapping into my Highly Sensitive traits and experiences as an ability makes me a unique coach for people like you.
I chose as the title of my book, Stop The Madness, How the Highly Sensitive Person Can Thrive In A Chaotic World, because there are so many Highly Sensitive People out there in the world that are suffering from overwhelm, exhaustion, and the crazy-making of other people.

Beautiful Talented People

These are beautifully talented people that are hiding, not using their gifts and abilities because the very thought of possibly being overwhelmed is terrifying and exhausting.

Did you know that Highly Sensitive People are designed to be giving? If we are not giving our love, joy, happiness, and heartfelt gratefulness, then we are only existing, not thriving. And because a Highly Sensitive Person is so attuned to what is working and not working, we will feel guilt and shame if we are not contributing.

This is an example of what Highly Sensitive People will learn about  their  traits and abilities and how they can be a challenge and a blessing.
You will also learn how to transform your emotional and physical pain into a new, wonderful You that contributes to your relationships, community, and even the world.

It’s your life, let’s make it wonderful.

LR half body treesRev. Johnnie Marie Urban is an Author, Speaker, Workshop facilitator.

Founder of Wonderful Life Learning Co. a Christian based Life Success Coaching & Consulting Company specializing in teaching the Highly Sensitive People how to thrive in the chaotic world.

This is where people come to uncover and explore what their HSP talents and abilities are so that you can have a fulfilled life without the worries of exhaustion and overwhelm.

Certified Strategic Interventionist, Master Life & Business Success Coach, MNLP, MHt. MTT. Christian counselor, Wife, Mother, Grandma, friend and a Highly Sensitive Person.

www.EverythingHSP.com

Email: Johnnie@everythinghsp.com

Her book, “Stop The Madness” is on Amazon.com

Stop The Madness Book

If you didn’t know by now, I am always looking for ways to connect deeper with people and give value.

So when I was invited to be interviewed by my mentor, Arvee Robinson, I jumped at the chance.

I am excited to announce that I was recently interviewed on the fourth episode of the “Speak Your Truth” radio show with Christian Speakers In Business, Arvee Robinson.

This is the show where Arvee pulls back the curtain to reveal the truth about business, about love, spirituality, marketing, public speaking and what’s hot. Each week there is a new and exciting Christian guest speaker that will share their insider secrets and this week I had the pleasure to be the guest speaker!

Christian talk radio at it’s finest is where we get to the nitty gritty to reveal the real truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The show airs every Thursday at 6:00am PST/9:00am EST but you can listen to the broadcast anytime.

photodune-6366926-happy-people-l

Nitty Gritty Truth

Speak Your Truth gets to the nitty gritty of what’s really going on. Click the link below to listen to today’s 30-minute show with me, Johnnie Urban who speaks about “The Power of Being a Highly Sensitive Person.”

Show #4: “The Power of Being a Highly Sensitive Person”

Don’t miss 30 minutes of the real deal as I share the REAL scoop behind what it means to be a Highly Sensitive Person.

Johnnie Urban 

Strategic Interventionist Coach

Master Life Coach and a Highly Sensitive Person.

Founder of Wonderful Life Learning #wonderfullife

EverythingHSP.com

Follow On Facebook

Teaching Highly Sensitive people who struggle with overwhelm yet desire peace in the chaotic world. As a result of our time together they experience personal breakthroughs and thrive in their personal and business environment.

P.S. I am never too busy for your referrals.

Recently I was told that I was a gentle coach. That confused me a bit so I did some research and found this article. Apparently compassion and gentle have similar meanings.

About 10 years ago I hired my first of many coaches. What I discovered with all these coaches was that they felt they needed to inspire me to take action by making me feel shame and guilt. Once they found out what my desires and goals were they berated and hounded me thinking that was going to motivate me into doing the actions they wanted me to do. YUCK!

After several of these disappointments I was telling myself “Maybe I’m not coaching material”. I certainly was not an ideal client for these type of coaches.

“What if these were not the type of coaches for me?”

I was beginning to believe that all coaches were like this and I was determined NOT to be like them.
I always strive to coach people to get the results they want and need. Always considering their unique personality, traits and gifts so that they will be able to make necessary changes yet not have to reinvent the wheel of their core essence.

As a Highly Sensitive Person myself coaching Highly Sensitive people this makes sense.

givingHands 20kb-l Authored By Jeanette Mulvey, BusinessNewsDaily Managing Editor November 19, 2010

Turns out, the old expression, ‘you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar,’ is true.
Recent brain image research found that coaching that encourages students, workers , players or kids to envision a positive future is much more effective than coaching that focuses on a person’s failings and what he or she shouldn’t do.

“We’re trying to activate the parts of the brain that would lead a person to consider possibilities,” said Richard Boyatzis, professor at Case Western Reserve University, where the research took place.  “We believe that would lead to more learning. By considering these possibilities, we facilitate learning.”

The researchers said coaches (or bosses, teachers or parents) should seek to arouse a Positive Emotional Attractor (PEA), which causes positive emotion and arouses neuroendocrine systems, which in turn stimulate better cognitive functioning and increased perceptual accuracy and openness in the person being coached.

Emphasizing weaknesses, flaws and other shortcomings — or even trying to “fix” the problem for the person being coached — has an opposite effect.

“[If you focus on the negative,]you would activate the Negative Emotional Attractor (NEA), which causes people to defend themselves, and as a result they close down,” Boyatzis says. “One of the major reasons people work is for the chance to learn and grow. So at every managerial relationship, and every boss-subordinate relationship, people are more willing to use their talents if they feel they have an opportunity to learn and grow.”

Effective coaching can lead to smoothly functioning organizations , better productivity and potentially more profit. In classrooms, better student performance can occur. Doctors or nurses can connect more with patients. So, coaching correctly would seem to be a natural goal, the researchers said.
For all the energy and money spent on coaching, there is little understanding about what kind of interactions can contribute to or detract from effectiveness, the researchers found. Ways of coaching can and do vary widely, due to a lack of understanding of the psychophysiological mechanisms which react to positive or negative stimulus.

“By spending 30 minutes talking about a person’s desired, personal vision, we could light up (activate) the parts of the brain five to seven days later that are associated with cognitive, perceptual and emotional openness and better functioning,” said Boyatzis, who conducted the research with Anthony Jack, another Case Western Reserve professor.
“Everyone’s got to look at weaknesses and take them on,” Jack says. “But often the focus is so much on the bottom line that we worry ourselves into the ground. It is more important to focus on what gets you going in the morning and gets you wanting to work hard and stay late.”

 

Johnnie Urban

Strategic Interventionist

EverythingHSP.com

This is the second of six consecutive blogs where I am sharing The 6 Human Needs as taught by Tony Robbins (Tonyrobbins.com).

As a graduate of the Robbins/Madanes Strategic Interventionist Coach Training program this has become my favorite core learnings from the program.

Last week I shared with you the first need CERTAINTY. This week I will be sharing with you the paradox UNCERTAINTY.

Challenges of the Highly Sensitive Person HSPARE YOU REALLY CERTAIN?
Can you remember when was the last time you were absolutely certain about every aspect of your life. You knew without a shadow of a doubt that everything was going to be all right.

HOW ABOUT TRUSTING THAT…
Your bills were all going to get paid. Your spouse or child loved you no matter what. You were going to have a job tomorrow. Your health was perfect. How about trusting that, while you’re driving down the street or highway, the car on the other side of the white line was going to stay there?

SURPRISES?
How many of you like surprises? Most of you would say “Yea”.
But you need to think about ALL surprises not just the ones you want. Not all surprises are good ones. Some of us like to be scared a little and seek out scary movies and read scary novels. Some of us don’t even like to watch the evening news right before bed because it gives us nightmares.

New Life and Old Life Words on Red and Blue Road signCONFLICTING NEEDS
The 6 Human Needs are where I start when I begin to work with people who are struggling with their lives. I find that where there is a struggle there is a conflict in two of their top needs. Sorting out what is “out of wack” makes all the difference in how fast a person moves from chaos to thriving and getting the results they want.

 

 

 

All human beings share the same six basic human needs. These needs underlie all the choices we make in our lives.

UNCERTAINTY and VARIETY

The second need is for Uncertainty – for variety and challenges that exercise our emotional and physical range. Everyone needs some variety in life.  Our bodies, our minds, our emotional well-being all require uncertainty, exercise, suspense, and surprise.

Just as a sense of security is reassuring, so the excitement that comes from variety is necessary to feel alive. For some, variety may be satisfied by watching the news on television; others may seek extreme high-risk activities such as extreme sports.
Descriptive words for Uncertainty/Variety are: fear, thrills, instability, change, entertainment, suspense, exertion, surprise, conflict, and crisis.

Happy woman with bunch of flowersSENSITIVE PEOPLE
To a Highly Sensitive Person, having too much uncertainty and variety is overwhelming for them. It can be a major form of stress in their lives. Yet I know plenty of HSPs that have high energy jobs, careers, hobbies, and friends, and they do just fine. According to research, there is a subset of HSP. About 30% of all HSPs are to some degree known a High Sensation Seekers, or HSS.

I happen to score high as an HSS. I can get bored easily and want lots of variety. My challenge is to find a sweet spot where I don’t bite off more than I can chew. In other words, I must not overcommit to doing something and then not be able to follow through because I got too overstimulated and exhausted.

 

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT

  • So now that you know what two of the six needs are can you begin to guess if you have any conflicts?
  • Where are you fearful in your life?
  • Are you trying to get certainty by trying to control too much?
  • Perhaps you are bored because too much uncertainty is scary.

 

UNIQUELY YOU
Each pVisionerson is unique and different in where they fall on the scale of balance. Finding that balance for you is what I do.

Coaching people, just like you, the skill of how to create the balance they NEED everyday and for the rest of their lives.

Peace…
“It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.”

Johnnie Urban
Strategic Interventionist
Coaching Highly Sensitive People How To Thrive In A Chaotic World
www.EverythingHSP.com

IMG_2764

All the experts agree that dogs will take on the personality of their masters. Their behaviors, mannerisms and personality quirks all come from being closely connected and attached to the one person that means everything to them.

Seven years ago I decided to get another dog and a friend of mine’s mama dog had just had a litter of baby Shih tzu. I had always wanted one of these beautiful and cute dogs so I jumped on the invitation to take a look and pick one out.

I have a tried and true system for picking out my pets. I let them pick me.
My system for choosing works like this, I sit on the floor and the puppy that crawls into my lap and hangs out with me is the right one. Simple,yes?
This time that did not work. In this case all 12 puppies crawled all over me as if I was their new toy. It took me over an hour of playing with them before I chose my Princess Shadow.

Surprise!

I knew that my new puppy was going to be happy and loving, just look at her new “Mom”. What I didn’t know was she was going to be Highly Sensitive like her new “Mom”.

The reason I didn’t even consider this was because I didn’t know, at the time, that I was a Highly Sensitive Person, HSP. Seven years ago I didn’t even know that the term existed. Studies in the High Sensitivity in people have been going on since the early 1990’s. How is it that this escaped me? I knew from childhood that I had always been artistic, deeply feeling and empathic. What I didn’t know was that being super sensitive to loud sounds, bright lights, high and low temperatures and medications was also a trait.

Do any of these cause you to jump, cover your ears and /or want to hide somewhere?
Floor squeaks
Noisy car outside
Someone knocking on the door
Fire, Police or car alarm
Point scoring yell
Windy days
Rainy days
Earthquake

Even after it’s all over do you still feel:
Skittish
Worry
Disconnected
Uncontrollable shaking
Overwhelmed

This is what Princess Shadow experiences almost on a daily basis.
We have tried holding her, loving her and distracting her. I even considered asking the vet for something to calm her down. What we found that works is to let her decide what she wants to do. That means she is usually under the sofa, peeking her little nose out, watching the world from her safe place. Giving her the time she needs to feel safe again is all she needs.
It amazes me how our animals have the natural ability to cope with stress. If we humans would just back off and let them do it.

A Solution?

Most of us do not have the luxury of being able to hide under a sofa until we feel safe. Most of us are active people that want to have an amazing life of energy and purpose. We have jobs, business’s, activities, families and friends that require us to be fully present. And I know that some of you are barely hanging on to your day to day existence of all that bombards your senses without any natural ability to be able to cope.

Yes, we could just pop a pill, but did you read the part above where I shared that I am super sensitive to drugs and medications? Most HSP are sensitive and just don’t respond well to these. My DR. has even warned me that these are allergic reactions.
I’d like to think that we are just wired differently and need to know how to have the “NATURAL ABILITY” of protecting ourselves from the onslaught of the chaotic world.

I know, because not only have I learned this myself, I have helped hundreds of Highly Sensitive People discover what it is like to have a fulfilled life using their gifts and thriving in the chaotic world.

I want you to know that there is absolute hope for you and anyone else that you might know that is struggling with their High Sensitivity traits and abilities.

How are you supposed to do ANYTHING…

…when the chaotic world OVERWHELMS your senses?

…when you DOUBT the gifts and abilities you were given?

…when you are confused about HOW to make everyday life happen?

…when you NEVER feel satisfaction that you are doing enough to actually be taken seriously?

…when you feel frustrated or worried that you’ll FAIL or make a mistake?

…when you crave fulfillment and it is always ELUSIVE?

Believe me, I’ve had my FULL share of each and every one of the things on that list.
And I want you to know that there is a way to turn it all around so that you will have a natural ability to thrive in the chaos of life.

Choose a day and time that works best for you at => Click here to sign up for your 60 min. STOP THE MADNESS Complimentary Session.

I  look forward to hearing from you,

Johnnie Urban

Strategic Interventionist

Coaching Highly Sensitive People How To Thrive In A Chaotic World

www.EverythingHSP.com

Direct – 714-403-9256

Feminine Energy vs Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

The other day I was eating lunch with some friends at an event.
Most of my friends are open to new progressive ideas and are educated in human psychology. Like me they are always curious about life experiences and are what we call life long learners.
As we were joyfully sharing what we were up to lately I opened up with the concept of writing a book to address the challenges highly sensitive people in today’s world.

Being curious they wanted to know more about what was a Highly Sensitive Person. I suspect that they wanted to know if they were Highly Sensitive. In the middle of my explanation of the traits and abilities of what an HSP has I was suddenly stopped, by one of my friends, and asked “Isn’t that just feminine energy?”

This is not the first time I have been asked that. It seems whenever I am talking to someone that is not Highly Sensitive they just don’t get it.

If the term feminine energy is new to you then I have some good news for you. I’m going to share with you, to the best of my ability what it is and how it differs from being an HSP.

FEMININE ENERGY

Everyone has both a masculine and a feminine side. For the purpose of this chapter I am leaving out the masculine explanation because I will only be comparing feminine energy and begin a Highly Sensitive Person at this time.
Being a HSP is not exclusive to women. There are just as many men that are born with the traits as there are women. But society dictates men are not supposed to possess the traits and women are. Both will suffer and be confused by this stereotyping.

As in most things there are varying degrees of feminine energy depending on the individual person, the culture they are living in, how they where raised as a child and your hormones.
The feminine side is based on a deep level of the value that you place on others. If you have a strong feminine side and place a high value on others, you are often giving and unselfish. You usually know what is good for people, and you tend to operate in ways that helps others, get what they want out of life. People feel comfortable around you because you give of who you are without pushing yourself on others.
Conversely if you have a weak feminine side, you place a low value on others, and you are not a giving person. You are isolated because you don’t want to share yourself or share anything you have. Also, you don’t take responsibility for actions and place blame on others for your problems.
A strong feminine energy often behaves in ways that are considered feminine in nature. You will do things that are giving and unselfish. This includes recognizing people’s basic human rights and allowing them live their life without interfering with those rights. Allowing people their basic rights includes letting them control their own life, letting them choose what they want to believe without being manipulated by you. The feminine side also includes having an enthusiasm and zest for life, and recognizing what things are worth getting enthusiastic about. It also includes being kind, compassionate, patient and responsive to the needs of others, and it includes the ability to limit the amount go energy you put into helping people, to keep from hurting yourself or draining your own energy.

There is a gathering aspect to feminine energy. Going back to the cavemen days where the hunters (men) went out with their physical strength, spears, knives and arrows to hunt for food and protect the family. The women, and weak men and children, would stay close to the cave and gather food from the ground, bushes and trees. They had to remember the details of where to find non-poisonous berries and clean water. They would stay close together to protect each other from a pouncing tiger or lion.
These are the basic needs for survival even to this day. Feminine energy today is still about gathering and staying together for survival and protection. It’s just looks a little bit different. In today’s world we see survival as being accepted into the group. We will gather together for lunch and give kind words and support even if we don’t mean it. Even go the restroom together.
An all important thing that happy and healthy feminine energy gathers and shares are details. Details about a person, a dress, a pair of shoes, who was at the party or a trip and when the time is right she will share it until your ears fall off.

Now let’s go back and do some comparing to the HSP and connect the dots.

WHAT BEING HIGHLY SENSITIVE IS NOT:
1. Emotionally immature
2. Self-centered
3. Unpredictable and unstable emotions
4. Over-dependent
5. Demanding and attention thirsty

CHARACTERISTICS OF HIGHLY SENSITIVE PEOPLE:
1. Have great imagination
2. Have great intellectual abilities
3. Are creative
4. Have a curious mind
5. Are hard workers
6. Are good problem solvers
7. Are extremely conscious and compassionate
8. Are intuitive, caring and spiritual
9. Have a strong sense of aesthetic awareness
10. Respect nature, art and music greatly
11. Have profound and intense sensations
12. Can access important information from the unconscious mind
13. Have a depth of understanding and feelings
14. Are objective and can see the bigger picture

A Highly Sensitive Person has similar traits to feminine energy when it comes to being conscious, caring and compassionate. There is also a correlation to having a strong sense of aesthetic awareness (shoes and outfit matching), and can access important information from the unconscious mind (intuition). Other than that there is not much else in common.

Your comments or questions are always appreciated. :)

Johnnie Urban

www.EverythingHSP.com