What? Is that just crazy, or what?
Why would anyone think that a disaster could help us have better lives?

It’s not crazy, or cynical, or even insensitive.

In fact, I actually identify with the traits and abilities of a highly sensitive person. Are you one too?

Over the years, I have learned, as I teach all my students, to decide when to feel and react deeply.
It’s a great feeling to be able to own your emotions instead of them owning you.

Closing your eyes and imagining a pretty box that I can throw those feelings into, tie a ribbon around it and place it on a shelf for later. I call this the Gift of Time Box.

Recently the planet seems to be having a bit of a tantrum. Devastating natural disasters multiple hurricanes, earthquakes, and dormant volcanoes spitting and spuming. Massively disrupting lives all over the world.

And then there was the horrible mass shooting in Las Vegas.

The first day was a horrible day of shock and worry.
Worry for friends that either lives in Las Vegas or were visiting. Until we heard that they are ok, we prayed for them all.
When my husband got home from work I was curled up watching a romantic comedy on Netflix.
I asked my husband to please not turn on the news. He knows me all too well and happily obliged.

The second day, again I purposefully did not turn on the TV.
Visiting Facebook, briefly to check in with people, was my only contact with the news.
Promising myself that I would not bombard my senses with all the bits and pieces of the tragedy until I could handle it.

Even now, as I write this, I cry tears of sadness for all the people that have been touched by this senseless act.

Though images were limited, my imagination is on fire.
I remind myself that HSP’s love to feel deeply. There is nothing wrong with me.
Deep sorrow and deep joy. We can’t help it, we are just born this way.
It can feel like we are being pushed and pulled all at once.
I don’t want to cry right now. But I have to.

Bad stuff will happen in our lifetime.
We will trust deeply and be hurt deeply.

We will love deeply and lose deeply.We will also experience deep joy and delight in the beauty of a child laughing, flowers blooming, and birds singing in the early morning. Being grounded in nature that surrounds us.

The question is, how will you be able to manage the emotions that go with them?


So by now the Gift of Time box is bulging with emotions, anger, sadness, fear, and hurt. No worries, it can handle all the emotions until my sensitivities are ready to embrace them.

The time will come when the emotions can be gently handled and that is when we can do something about helping those that have been affected by these disasters.

Will today be better? Time will tell. Maybe the Gift of Time box will come off the shelf today, maybe not.



Johnnie Urban


Hello Perfect Gift Givers,

This bonus material is a compliment to the audio CD 

“A Perfect Solution to Valentine Gift Madness

An easy guide on How to finally make your Sweetheart happy.”

Link to purchase

  • Want to know how to finally make your Sweetheart happy?
  • Finally understand what a person really wants based on Psychological needs?

Here are some ideas that will jog your creative mind to finding the perfect gift for anyone.

1.  Even if you are not creative you can find something at a craft or hobby store. When you make something unique from your own hands it says I love you like nothing else. Can anyone remember the macaroni necklace your mom kept forever?

2.  Visit a local  “paint your own ceramics” (Color Me Mine) store and create a hand painted bowl or coffee mug.

3.  I got an amazing idea by accident from Fiverr.com- If you’ve never heard of this service go check it out. A couple of weeks ago I needed a professional 30 sec. commercial for a radio spot I was doing. After it was made I got the idea of what if I got a commercial created for my Grandkids for their birthdays? All you have to do is supply the person you select on Fiverr all the information you want about the person and they will actually create the script for you if you need that.

4.  Put together a gift basket. If you don’t want to over-commit to one gift, assemble a collection of little presents. Pick a cute container, like an embellished basket or box, and dress it up with ribbons, tissue paper, cellophane, or whatever else you have on-hand to make it special. Consider filling it with these items:

Their favorite treat, whether it’s candy, cookies, or a particular store-bought food. A pretty beverage. If you’re old enough to drink, consider buying their favorite beer or a nice bottle of wine.

Stocking stuffer type items: Rely on little items you might use for Christmas stocking stuffers, such as new headphones, new supplies for whatever sport they play (like golf balls or tennis balls), or a few items he can use for hobbies (like grilling tools or colored pencils).

5.  Buy books for your bookworm sweetheart. If you’re dating a reader, hook them up with some new material. Do a little detective work about what they’re  currently reading and what they already have, and try to fill in the blanks with a similar book.

Take advantage of product recommendations. For instance, if you know your sweetheart loved a certain book, ask the clerk at your local bookstore for similar titles. Or, type the title into a service like Amazon and see what other readers bought after reading that one.

6.  If you’re not sure what to buy, get a gift card. Books are a pretty personal gift, and it can be tough to figure out what someone would enjoy reading. If you’re stumped, rely on a gift card. Offer to go shopping with them and make a date of it.Buy music-themed gifts if they are an audiophile. If your loved one is really into music, get them a present that’s in line with their interests.

7.  Here are a few more suggestions:

Write a poem or a love letter of appreciation. I know children and teens that saved such letters forever that their parents wrote to them.

Sure, you might tell them you love them, but it’s nice to have a physical object outlining how you feel, that they can revisit and read whenever they want. This is the perfect gift if you’re on a budget, because it’s the thought — and not the cost — that counts. For extra sentiment, write it out in your own handwriting, and pick a nice sheet of paper.

I’ve written this for him yet I know a lot of women that would love these ideas too.

 8.  Cook  for them. Take advantage of that old saying: “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Whether it’s a simple dessert or a full-fledged meal, presenting your sweetheart with food is a tangible demonstration that you care. Here are some timeless options:

Make them cookies. Don’t know their favorite kind of cookie? Now’s the time to find out! Or, if you want it to be a surprise, go with classic crowd-pleasers like chocolate chip or sugar cookies.

Whip up a decadent chocolate dessert. Try brownies, chocolate-covered strawberries, or an ambitious chocolate soufflé.

Set up a romantic meal. If you want to go all-out on food, make your guy or gal a beautiful Valentine’s Day dinner.

9.  Make a mixtape (or playlist). Putting together a mixtape of songs that are significant to your relationship can be a really meaningful, personalized present, and you don’t have to spend a ton of money to do it. Burn your creation onto a CD for a tangible gift, or send him a digital playlist if you both subscribe to online music services.

Be sure to include “your” song, if you have one. If you don’t, throw a handful of potential candidates into the mix.

Pay attention to subtext. You might really like the sound of a brooding break-up song, but putting it on your playlist might send your sweetheart the wrong message.

Keep it limited. Stick to around 10 songs, give or take a few. That way your loved one can listen to the whole list in one sitting, and remember that they’re meaningful later.

10.   Write your sweetheart a poem. If you enjoy writing and reading poetry, put your talents to use on an individualized poem. Or, write out your feelings in prose. If meter and rhyme aren’t your forte, that’s all right — a prose letter can be just as meaningful!


Borrow someone else’s words. If you’re struggling to write how you feel, rely on the experts for help. Find a famous piece of poetry, and copy it out in your own handwriting, or print it out and frame it in a pretty way. Some classics to get you started:

“Somewhere I have never traveled,” e.e. Cummings

Sonnet XVII, Pablo Neruda

“How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways,” Elizabeth Barret Browning

Shakespeare’s 18th Sonnet

“To a Stranger,” Walt Whitman

“Love’s Philosophy,” Percy Bysshe Shelley

“To Earthward,” Robert Frost

You could also borrow the lyrics of your favorite love song, if you have one. Songs are basically poetry set to music!

11.  Buy him or her a cologne that you like. Cologne is a classic Valentine’s Day present because, in theory, it’s a benefit to both of you — he’ll like smelling awesome, and you’ll like whatever scent you choose for him.

Keep in mind that scents don’t wear the same on everyone. Everyone’s body chemistry is slightly different, so a cologne that smells amazing on one guy might not work for another.

Pay attention to what he already likes. Odds are, your boyfriend wears something that he thinks works for him, so try to stay close to that. If he tends to wear woody, musky colognes, that’s probably a good choice for a gift. On the other hand, if he seems to prefer light, citrusy, clean scents, try to find a gift that’s in the same category.

12.  Pick up some new guitar picks if he’s a guitarist, or drumsticks if he’s a drummer.

Find a good pair of noise-canceling headphones if he listens to a lot of music.

Get him an iTunes gift card or a Spotify subscription.

13.  Support his gaming hobby. If your boyfriend is a big gamer, he’s almost guaranteed to like a gaming-themed gift for Valentine’s Day.

14.  Buy him a new game. See if there are any upcoming releases he’s had his eye on, or ask his buddies what he’s been dying to play. Or, just buy him credits. You can buy the gaming equivalent of a gift card depending on what platform he uses.

15.  Update his controller. Whether he uses a console controller or a mouse, buying him a new piece of hardware could be a great Valentine’s gift.


If Want to know how to finally make your Sweetheart happy.

To Finally understand what a person really wants based on their human psychology needs? 

Download my fun and easy audio CD A Perfect Solution to Valentine Gift Madness

An easy guide on How to finally make your Sweetheart happy  PURCHASE HERE