I sometimes question my courage.

The courage that is needed to raise a child
is certainly different from what is needed to
get out of bed in the morning. Some of us
have a hard time even doing that at times.

I remember when my children were approaching
driving age and each one told me that they did
not want to learn to drive. I was perplexed
because the minute I turn 15 ½ I couldn’t
wait to get behind the wheel of a car.

But when I asked them why, this is what they said,

“There are a lot of crazy drivers out there and
I don’t want to be out there with them.”

Mind you, they had no problem sitting in the
passenger seat as I drove them everywhere.

I’m thinking, at this point, it’s because they
felt safe from all the crazy drivers as long as
I was doing the driving.
I’ll take that compliment any day.

Most of us will agree that the courage needed
to speak in front of a group of people compared
to, well… almost anything- is completely unique.

There are lots of different reasons for why we are
scared to death of public speaking and all of them are valid.

Yet, if you think about it, don’t we find the courage
to do what we must do to get what we ultimately want?

Your BIG why just needs to be bigger then your fear.

It also can help if someone else is in the drivers seat
until your ready to fly on your own.

Blessings,
Johnnie Urban

More good stuff on: 

PS. All three of my children’s fear of crazy drivers disappeared
when they moved out and needed to transport themselves.

Disclaimer: no words were harmed but punctuation and dangling particles may have taken a hit.

“English is like, totally fun to learn, you know?”
If you take out the words “like,” “totally” and “you know” from that sentence, you’re left with a perfectly understandable sentence:

English is fun to learn.

So what’s the point of all those extra words, then?
Words like “totally” and phrases like “you know” are called filler words, and they’re used, like, literally all the time.
You’ve probably heard lots of filler words being used in conversations or in movies and TV shows. These might not seem useful, but they are actually a pretty important part of the English language, especially in American English.
Filler words can be an English learner’s best friends, if you use them correctly and not too often.

What Are Filler Words?

Filler words are words (and phrases) that are used to fill silence when you’re speaking. They’re words that don’t add any real value to the sentence. They simply keep you going while you come up with the rest of your sentence.
Their actual name is “discourse markers,” but they’re much more commonly known as “filler words.”
You might already use filler words without realizing it. When you can’t think of the right word to use in a sentence, you might say “umm.”

This gives you a break while you think, without an awkward, silent pause.
Since filler words don’t really add any meaning to the sentence, you don’t need to think about using them. This leaves your brain free to think of other things—like the word you’re trying to remember.

Building Confidence

Most beginning speakers are afraid of pauses. They believe their audience will think they are inarticulate if they pause to think of what to say next, so they use filler words to avoid the silence. However, a pause is actually more impressive than a filler word. Listeners know that the speaker is thinking, trying to find the right word.
They respect this. Sometimes a pause can actually improve a speech, as when an actor uses a dramatic pause to rivet the attention of his audience.
A speaker shouldn’t be afraid to pause occasionally during a speech; it shows self-confidence.

Johnnie Urban, author and speaker trainer says,
“I remind myself that I have the floor and that nobody is going to interrupt me,” she also adds, “I tell myself that it’s okay to be silent. When I’m collecting my thoughts, I believe I appear more cerebral and deep in thought if I remain silent for a second or two. I appear to be the wise professor who is about to say something profound. I find that the audience will sit up and pay more attention. I tell myself that what seems like a long pause to me is probably a short pause to those in the audience.”

Brittany Hoff Gill of the Eagle Toastmasters in Eagle, Idaho, believes the way a speaker views the situation also affects the “ah” quotient. “Filler words generally come in when you don’t view the presentation as a conversation,” she says. “This makes you nervous and tense, and then you have a tendency to use filler words.”

 Public Speaking Emotions

Use Filler Words in Moderation

Like with anything else, you could use filler words too much. Overusing filler words (using too many, too often) can make you sound unprofessional. Even worse, it can make it difficult to follow your sentences. So do use filler words when you speak, they actually can add some personality to a bland sentence or statement, but don’t use them too much.

This article is a compilation from several different resources.
15+ Quick English Filler Words You’ll Thank Yourself for Learning by YULIYAGEIKHMAN.
Download the complete article: Available as a convenient and portable PDF that you can take anywhere. Click here to get a copy. (Download)

Toastmaster website CUTTING OUT FILLER WORDS

Johnnie Urban Authentic Public Speaking  and Creator of the Speaker Start-up Kit

16 Public Speaking Declarations, Affirmations and Incantations

There are both positive and negative types of affirmations. I’m sure many of us can remember as a child being told by a teacher, parent or coach that we didn’t have the ability to do something, or we were too fat, clumsy, etc. These unresourceful statements can stay with us in the conscious or unconscious mind, and we then reinforce them throughout our lives.

We say incantations to ourselves all the time. Powerful positive ones will always overpower and eliminate negative self-defeating ones.

Declarations are something you say that is a statement that you believe to be true. When you make a declaration about something it’s like you put your stake in the ground and there is no turning back.

Affirmations can be a powerful tool to help you to change your mood, state of mind and manifest the change you desire in your life.

Incantations are what we say over and over again until they become a part of our unconscious mind. When that happens then it is a part of us and our unconscious mind will automatically accept them and do everything in its power to help you achieve them.

If an unresourceful belief is deeply rooted in our unconscious mind then it has the ability to override a positive affirmation even if we aren’t aware of it. This is why for many people affirmations and incantations don’t seem to work, as their afflicted thought patterns are so strong that it knocks out the effect of the positive statement. So how can we add more muscle to an affirmation and incantation so that it has the power to triumph over our negative thinking? Here are some suggestions on how to make them work for you.

 

Four Steps to Make Affirmations and Incantations More Effective & Powerful

 

Step 1: Write out an affirmation on the positive aspect of your self-judgment. You may want to use a thesaurus to find more powerful words to beef up your statement. For example instead of saying, “I’m worthy,” you could say, “I’m remarkable and cherished.” After you have written your affirmation, ask a close friend or a coach to read it to see if they have any suggestions to make it stronger.

 

Step 2: Turn your affirmation into incantations. Speak the affirmation out loud for about five minutes, three times a day — morning, mid day and evening. An ideal time to do this is when you’re putting on your make up or shaving, so that you can look at yourself in the mirror as you repeat the positive statement. Another option that helps to reinforce the new belief and would be easy to do at work is to write out the affirmation several times in a notebook. Notice over time as you write it if your style of writing changes. This could be a clue as to how your mind embraces the new concept.

 

Step 3: Anchor the affirmation in your body as you are repeating it by doing something powerfully physical. Do the Super Hero power pose (see photo). Jumping jacks, pushups or if you can go for a walk or even a run.

Step 4: Get a friend or coach to repeat your affirmation to you. As they are saying for example, “you are remarkable and cherished” identify this statement as nurturing messages. If you don’t have someone who you feel comfortable asking then use your reflection in the mirror as the person who is reinforcing the healthy message.

 

My gift to my fellow speakers

Below you will find 16 powerful declarations that you can easily turn into your own affirmations and even incantations. These are the exact ones that I use for myself.

 

  1. Speaking is fun!
  2. Speaking is about service!
  3. I am a Master Networker!
  4. Speaking is about leading!
  5. I am a Powerful presenter!
  6. People love to give me money!
  7. Speaking is about connection!
  8. I am the #1 Expert in my field!
  9. My intention is to embrace speaking!
  10. I have important Knowledge to share!
  11. I give amazing value whenever I speak!
  12. I am a Confident, Charismatic speaker!
  13. Speak honestly with integrity and compassion!
  14. People love to buy my products and/or services!
  15. I earn a fortune powerfully speaking my passion!
  16. Speaking is about moving people to take an action!

 

“I give myself the green light to go ahead, and to joyously embrace the new.” —LOUISE HAY

AN IN-DEPTH EXPLORATION OF THE SIX HUMAN NEEDS SHAPING YOUR LIFE

The Six Human Needs were originally introduced by Anthony Robbins. Tony had always been fascinated with human motivation and behavior. As a result he studied Neural Linguistic Programming, Cognitive Therapy, Gestalt Therapy and many other therapies of the time.

Every day you make certain decisions and take specific actions that come about as a result of how you think, feel and the habits you tend to indulge in.

Most of the time you probably don’t give these decisions or actions a second thought. You probably don’t even contemplate why you did what you did. And that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with that.

We naturally tend to filter out these details in order to focus on the most important things in our lives. However, there are certain advantages to knowing — to understanding what in particular motivated you to take that action or make that decision.

And this is where the Six Human Needs come into the picture.

The Six Human Needs are not desires or wants. They are psychological “needs” that we constantly work to satisfy on a mostly unconscious level of awareness. These Six Human Needs are the factors that influence your deepest motivations and effectively determine how you go about prioritizing your decisions and actions throughout your life.

In fact, every single day of your life you are unconsciously striving to meet these “needs” with varied success.

When these needs are met at a high level, you experience a great deal of happiness and fulfillment in your life. On the other hand, when these needs are not met at a high level, you will tend to feel unfulfilled and dissatisfied. However, because all this happens on an unconscious level of awareness, you probably don’t even realize why you’re feeling this way.

Your life seems okay on the surface, however something is just not right. Nothing you do seems to make you happy, and life in general just seems as though it’s missing important elements that you can’t seem to identify.

 

So what are these Six Human Needs?

Well, let’s take a very quick look at them right now before exploring them details later on:

• Certainty: Here you are striving to experience comfort and gain certainty in your life in order to minimize the stress of uncertainty.
• Uncertainty: Here you are striving for a little variety and uncertainty in your life in order to relieve boredom, predictability and stagnation.
• Significance: Here you are striving to gain a sense of significance and importance in the eyes of others. Your objective is to create a sense of identity.
• Connection: Here you are striving to make deep connections with people. You have a need to love and be loved by others. You also have a need to belong.
• Growth: Here you are striving to learn, experience and grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually in a variety of ways throughout your life.
• Contribution: Here you are striving to contribute to something greater than yourself. This is all about adding value to other people’s lives.

 

Balancing and Prioritizing Your Human Needs

In order to make the Six Human Needs work for you, you must first identify whether or not your current actions, choices and decisions are aligned with how you would like to prioritize your needs.

Ask yourself:

Based on my current life circumstances, how should I prioritize my needs?

 

Do I value certainty over uncertainty? Why? Why not?

 

Do I value significance over connection? Why? Why not?

 

Do I value connection over certainty? Why? Why not?

 

Do I value certainty over significance? Why? Why not?

 

What kinds of choices and decisions am I currently making?

 

How do these choices and decisions reflect how I subconsciously prioritize my needs?

 

Are my current choices and decisions in conflict with how I would like to prioritize my needs? What specific problems might be evident?

 

Am I experiencing enough growth in my life? If not, then how could I focus on satisfying this need to a higher degree in the future?

 

Is there enough room in my life to explore the need for contribution? How?

 

In the end, the whole purpose of this entire process is to help you transform your behavior in positive ways so that you can find more happiness and fulfillment in your life. And this all begins with an understanding of your Six Human Needs.

There’s literally so much that could be discussed here. In fact an entire book could be written about this subject. This short article certainly doesn’t give the topic of the Six Human Needs justice. However, I hope that it has provided you with some insights that you can work with to help balance and re-prioritize your life in more helpful and positive ways.

The above article is an exerpt from:
AN IN-DEPTH EXPLORATION OF THE SIX HUMAN NEEDS SHAPING YOUR LIFE
by Adam Sicinski

Johnnie Urban SI, MNLP, MHt, MTT

As a passionate Strategic Interventionist Johnnie Urban is trained extensively in the 6 Human Needs and use these as a basis with all her coaching clients. Coupled with being a part of the Tony Robbins environment since 2001 we can actually say that she is somewhat of an expert in showing people how to recognize how these show up in their lives.

 

I found this article and thought you would like it.

Comedians are the ultimate public speakers. Here’s what you can learn from them.

 

 

 

 

Mike Michalowicz
Author, Profit First
MAY 04, 2012

Comedians are the ultimate public speakers. They have to hold an audience’s attention for an hour or more. They don’t get a break during their talks, and they don’t get to lean on the audience for Q&A. They are expected to make the audience laugh constantly. And they don’t even get to use a PowerPoint bullet list of discussion points.
Comedians know that the secret to keeping an audience engaged is following the commandments of powerful public speaking. Here are their secrets.

1. Humbling personal stories. As a general rule, an audience will envy someone “above” them, connect with someone “like” them, and support someone “below” them. Any degree of arrogance will result in a disengaged audience. Comedians often open up their acts by sharing a humbling or even humiliating story. Not only is it funny, but it shows the audience that they are just a regular Joe. And regular Joes get support from the audience.

2. Just say no to PowerPoint. How often do you see a comedian using the PowerPoint crutch? Pretty much never. Unless, of course, they are making fun of PowerPoint. Comedians know that the best pictures are the ones that you draw in people’s minds. They also know that they want the audience looking at them, not trying to read a screen. Comedians use detailed descriptions, storytelling, body movement, voice tonality and props (that microphone stand can serve a million purposes).

3. Gesticulation. They say that the spoken word is only 5 percent of communication (Personally, I don’t know who “they” are, but I think they are right.) The remainder of communication is in our tone, pitch, facial gestures, and body movements. Comedians know that on stage, it is hard for people to see the minor expressions (e.g., subtle facial expressions), so they make big movements. Every body movement and facial expression is exaggerated so even the person with the worst seats in the house can see it clearly.

4. Laugh-cry-laugh. Like waves rolling in from the ocean, comedians know that the most engaged audiences need to have a release (laughter) and a recovery (a moment of calmness) before the next release (laughing again). As a public speaker, you may even want to move your audience through a little more of an emotional roller coaster. The laughing and crying keeps them connected and opens them up for you to deliver your knowledge and lessons.

5. No lectern. How often do you see comedians using a lectern? That’s right—never! A lectern serves no other purpose than to hide a speaker’s fidgety hands from the audience. The lectern is nothing but a big fat crutch. Avoid it like the plague, unless you use it as a prop.

6. No notes. When was the last time you saw a comedian pull out a notecard to see what their next joke was? A great speech is a prepared speech. Comedians practice their routines over and over, and you must do the same. You can use different mnemonic memory techniques to remember even the most complex speeches. Remember, if you take your eyes off of your audience, they will take their eyes off you. And that creates a disastrous speaking situation.

BONUS:

7. The loop-back. Ever notice that most comedians wrap up their routines by referencing some jokes from earlier on in their routine. I call this method “the loop-back.” Often these jokes come across as the funniest, because they reference something familiar (another joke from earlier in the routine). In the closing of your speech, make sure your refer back to the core content they just learned.

Just because comedians are master public speakers doesn’t mean you need to be a comedian to kill on stage. You aren’t even required to tell jokes (but a few thrown in here and there will surely help). Start to observe the techniques comedians use, and employ them in your own presentations. Set your DVR to record some stand-up material on Comedy Central or HBO and study it. If nothing else, you’ll at least have a few laughs during your training.

Who is your favorite comedian and what public-speaking tips can you learn from he or she?

Surround Yourself

Surround Yourself

I was reminded of this last week while I was reading a blog from Seth Godin.

The operative paragraph that REALLY got me to perk up was the fourth one.

The originality paradox
“There are a billion people trying to do something important for the first time. These people are connected by the net, posting, creating, daring to leap first.

It’s hard, because the number of people racing with you to be original is huge.

The numbers are so daunting that the chances that you will create something that resonates, spreads and changes the culture are really close to zero.

But it’s also certain that someone will. In fact, there’s a 100% chance that someone will step up with an action or a concept so daring that it resonates with us.

Nearly zero and certain. At the same time.

Pick your odds, decide what you care about and act accordingly.”

And when you surround yourself with people that see your greatness there’s a better chance you will succeed at ANYTHING.

Someone is going to step up with that resonating concept, It might as well be you.

The world needs more sensitve people, find out if you’re one of them => HSP

Blessings,

Johnnie Urban
The Sensitive Coach
www.EverythingHSP.com

There are several ways I work with clients:
-Individual coaching programs
-Group coaching programs
-Personalized programs

To schedule a time to learn more
about how I can help you,click here Stop The Madness and Thrive Session

Or send me an email message at info@wonderfullifelearning.com

Please visit my Facebook Page and post a
comment to say hello: Living As A Highly Sensitive Person

Women Sitting In Chair Deep In Thought
If you’re a highly sensitive person like me, you know little things can be too much. Busy environments, violent images in movies, or weekends with little downtime can stress you out. Because you’re so in tune with your environment and other people, life can be pretty exhausting, which makes you withdraw — and non-sensitives don’t understand.

But there’s nothing wrong with you and you’re not alone. High sensitivity is actually fairly common, found in 15 to 20 percent of the population, according to Dr. Elaine N. Aron, author of the book, The Highly Sensitive Person. Both introverts and extroverts can be sensitive, as well as people of all personality types.

Sadly, because many people don’t understand what high sensitivity is, you may have been told to “toughen up” or “just get over it.” You may have always felt different from other people, but you didn’t have a name for what you were.

High sensitivity can make life challenging but not impossible. When I’m in a routine and doing plenty of self-care, I forget about my sensitivity. But a recent trip reminded me of just how frazzled my senses can get. I was rushing from one activity to the next, hanging out in loud crowded restaurants, and meeting many new people. To top it all off, I wasn’t getting enough sleep or the kind of exercise that makes me feel good, like cardio and yoga. After five days of travel I was completely fried.

How can we as highly sensitive people cope with our trait? Here are 12 things we need:

1. Time to decompress
Noisy, busy environments — like a crowded mall during the holidays, a concert, or a big party — can wreak havoc on a sensitive person’s highly reactive nervous system. Likewise, packed schedules and high-pressure situations, like an article deadline or the first day in a new school, are overstimulating. If you know you’ll be in situation that will frazzle you, plan some time to decompress in a quiet space afterward. It’s best if you can be alone. Honestly, there are times I lock myself into the bathroom for a much needed break.

2. Meaningful relationships
We get bored or restless in relationships that lack meaningful interaction, according to Aron. This doesn’t mean we’re prone to relationship hopping, rather, we actually work harder to inspire intimacy and interesting conversation. It also means we’re selective about the people we let into our lives to begin with.
Interestingly, many sensitive people are great to be in a relationship with because they not only tune in to what’s good for them but also to what’s good for others. They pay close attention to what their significant other wants. Aron calls this characteristic “mate sensitivity,” which means the ability to rapidly figure out what pleases their partner and act based on that intel. This behavior goes for friends, family members, and co-workers as well.
Basically, it makes us happy to make others happy.

3. People who support us
Sensitive people may cry or become emotional a lot. “Sensitive people can’t help but express what they’re feeling,” Aron told the Huffington Post. “They show their anger, they show their happiness. Appreciating that is really important.”

4. A gentle, healthy way of managing conflict
No matter who you are, fighting with a loved one is miserable. But sensitive people tend to feel extra anxious when conflict arises — and an internal battle takes place. We feel torn between speaking up for what we believe is right and sitting back so we don’t provoke an angry reaction from the other person. Often we subjugate our own needs because we’d rather “go along to get along” than fight.
On the other hand, sensitive people can make great conflict resolvers, because we tend to see the other person’s perspective. We have high levels of empathy and can easily put ourselves in someone else’s shoes.

5. Time to get things done
Sensitive people like a slower pace of life. We like pondering all our options before making a decision and regularly reflecting on our experiences. We hate busy schedules and rushing from one event to the next.

One of the hardest parts of my day during the work week is getting moving in the morning and leaving my home on time. Saturday mornings, when I don’t have to work, are for going at my own pace. It’s calming and restorative to know I don’t have to be dressed and ready to go anywhere anytime soon.

6. Plenty of sleep
Lack of sleep (less than 7 hours a night, for most people) makes the average person irritable and less productive, but lack of sleep for the sensitive person can make life almost unbearable. Getting enough sleep soothes my ramped-up senses and helps me process my thoughts and emotions. How much sleep I get can literally make or break my next day. Without proper sleep, every little stressor seems ten times worse. HSP’s can have a difficult time getting to sleep as we tend to ruminate about our day. Here’s how you can get Heavenly Sleep.

7. Healthy meals spaced regularly throughout the day
When I don’t eat regularly, I get extremely hungry. This is because, according to Aron, extreme hunger can mess up a sensitive person’s mood or concentration. To fend off feelings of crankiness and discombobulation, maintain a steady blood sugar level throughout the day by eating regular healthy meals and snacks.

8. Caffeine-free options
Sensitive people (surprise, surprise) are sensitive to caffeine. I drink one cup of coffee in the morning to get me going, but I don’t have any caffeine past noon. Even a mug of green tea later in the day would leave me tossing and turning at night. Plus, having too much caffeine leaves me feeling jittery and wound up in an uncomfortable way.
If you’re sensitive, consider limiting your coffee, soda, and tea intake. Watch out for sneaky sources of caffeine, like chocolate. Remember, the darker the chocolate, the more caffeine. For example, Hershey’s Special Dark Chocolate Bar has a walloping 31 milligrams of caffeine, almost as much as a can of Coke!

9. A space of our own
If you live with others, make sure you have a quiet place you can retreat to when you need to get away from noise and people. Turn on your favorite music to drown out any unpleasant external noise.

Dimmer switch

10. Low lighting
If possible, turn off the overhead lights in your home or office and substitute a lamp. I had my husband put a dimmer switch in our bathroom so that the light wouldn’t be so bright first thing in the morning.

11. Time to adjust to change
Transitions aren’t easy for anybody. (Hey! Who wants to stop the madness?) But for sensitive people, transitions can be really rough. Even positive changes, like starting a new relationship or moving into a dream home, can be overstimulating and require an extra long period of adjustment. For example, when we moved a couple of years ago, into our wonderful new home with a view I literally felt off-kilter for months until I got used to my new situation.

12. Beauty and nature
Like most sensitive people, I’m deeply affected by my surroundings, especially the way they look. Cluttered, chaotic, or just plain ugly environments bother me. I feel calm spending time in nature, my city’s favorite neighborhoods, or my simply decorated home (especially when it’s actually clean and tidy!).

When it comes down to it, the key is to embrace your sensitivity rather than work against it. Sensitive people make incredible leaders, partners, and friends. We have high levels of empathy and we’re usually creative and perceptive. Maybe the world could use a little more of what we have.

Are you a highly sensitive person? What do you need? Let me know in the comments below or chat with me on the new Facebook page, Living as A Highly Sensitive Person.

Exactly what does the phrase Highly Sensitive Person mean to you?

In case you had not noticed, over the last couple of weeks I’ve been teaching classes to Highly Sensitive People on how to best communicate with their trait with other people. Especially in a way that supports both parties making it a win-win for everyone.

But what always comes up is the perception people have about the word “sensitive”.

Does it evoke thoughts of someone who seems to be weak, emotionally unstable or overly dramatic? Take a moment to really think about the meaning of the word sensitive.

Does it mean someone that cries easily, complains on a regular basis or gets offended easily?

The simple truth is there is nothing wrong with being sensitive.

There is certainly nothing inherently bad about the word sensitive either.

The dictionary explains it as;

 “Quick to detect or respond to slight changes, signals or influences.”

21

A Highly Sensitive Person is observant and alert, aware of, conscious of, mindful of small changes around them. This means being tuned into the world as well as every one of its sights, sounds and emotions.

Being a Highly Sensitive Person often means having an appreciation of others feelings. It means being empathic. These are generally essentially positive traits.

Bad Rap?

The words Highly Sensitive usually receives a bad rap. This is because the phrase sensitive is associated with negative meanings. Research shows about 15-20% of the population is sensitive. It crosses gender and specie boundaries and is something people and critters are born with. Highly Sensitive People process sensory data much more deeply as opposed to others because of differences in their nervous systems.

Do you think you are a Highly Sensitive Person?

Lets’ talk a little bit about us.

  • We think deeply about things.
  • We hate making the wrong decisions.
  • We like to do things correct the first time. “Do it right, do it once”
  • We analyze subtle information and also have a difficult time making decisions.

We can become easily overwhelmed by all the information and the details of every piece of information and stimulation which is around us.  We may be incessantly bothered if our physical environment feels uncomfortable.

In case you wanted to know more about us.

We are strongly affected and can be  impacted by most anything. Whether it is violence or horror on the news, television, movies or social media.

Yet we are also empathetic towards the feelings others have. We love and deeply appreciate music, art and poetry.

Does this seem like it could be you? Then, I actually have even more to share with you about being a very sensitive person.

  • You are one of many.
  • You are not wrong.
  • You are not weird!
  • You simply might be highly sensitive.
  • It is much like being right-handed or extroverted. It is just something you are born with, and it is in fact not an illness or even a problem.  It does not need to be fixed, and you do not  have to be cured.

Above all, first and foremost, sensitivity  is not a sign of weakness.

It can be life changing  to discover that you are a highly sensitive individual.

It can open your eyes to many things about yourself which you never understood.

It will also help you accept yourself more.

Above all it can help you to surround yourself with the people that really get you.

Johnnie Urban

Hello HSP friends,

I know I have been inconsistent lately
with my writing to you.

It’s just that I’ve been a little overwhelmed
with everything that I am supposed to be doing
with not only my mission but also my own
health and my family life.

Some things can fall through the cracks when
a lot is going on. I’m sure you can relate to what
I have been experiencing.

Does it give you any comfort that even I,
the master of preventing overwhelm, can still
have a challenge with it?

If you are following me on Facebook,
Pinterest, and Twitter you will have seen that
I am posting something every day.

Social media has become my “go to place”
4-smiley-facesfor me to easily share with my Highly Sensitive friends.

I always share a quick tip about living as an HSP.
Something encouraging and inspiring plus a
smattering of other peoples shares that I think
you would relate to.

Needless to say I am still learning how to balance
all that the world throws at me PLUS all that fills
me up with great joy that I want to continue to experience.
(Does this sound like you too).

The best news is that as I experience this balance
I will share it with you so that we can be on this fun
journey together.

“Vulnerability is something Highly Sensitive
People do not like, AT ALL.
And the FEAR of being vulnerable is even bigger.”

So I am declaring, right now, that you are going
to see me model being vulnerable and how you can
also learn from it. Embracing it and moving through it.

Join me on Facebook at: Living as a Highly Sensitive Person
We will, laugh, cry, learn and support each other.

There are several ways I work with clients:

-Individual coaching programs

-Group coaching programs

-Personalized programs

To schedule a time to learn more about how I can help you,

click here: 60 MIN.Stop The Madness and Thrive Session, my online calendar.

Or send me an email message at info@everythinghsp.com

Or call me at (714-403-9256)

Blessings,

Johnnie Urban

The Sensitive Coach

Wonderful Life Learning

P.S. Do you want to find out what the 7 Needs of a Highly Sensitive Person Are?

Hello Perfect Gift Givers,

This bonus material is a compliment to the audio CD 

“A Perfect Solution to Valentine Gift Madness

An easy guide on How to finally make your Sweetheart happy.”

Link to purchase

  • Want to know how to finally make your Sweetheart happy?
  • Finally understand what a person really wants based on Psychological needs?

Here are some ideas that will jog your creative mind to finding the perfect gift for anyone.

1.  Even if you are not creative you can find something at a craft or hobby store. When you make something unique from your own hands it says I love you like nothing else. Can anyone remember the macaroni necklace your mom kept forever?

2.  Visit a local  “paint your own ceramics” (Color Me Mine) store and create a hand painted bowl or coffee mug.

3.  I got an amazing idea by accident from Fiverr.com- If you’ve never heard of this service go check it out. A couple of weeks ago I needed a professional 30 sec. commercial for a radio spot I was doing. After it was made I got the idea of what if I got a commercial created for my Grandkids for their birthdays? All you have to do is supply the person you select on Fiverr all the information you want about the person and they will actually create the script for you if you need that.

4.  Put together a gift basket. If you don’t want to over-commit to one gift, assemble a collection of little presents. Pick a cute container, like an embellished basket or box, and dress it up with ribbons, tissue paper, cellophane, or whatever else you have on-hand to make it special. Consider filling it with these items:

Their favorite treat, whether it’s candy, cookies, or a particular store-bought food. A pretty beverage. If you’re old enough to drink, consider buying their favorite beer or a nice bottle of wine.

Stocking stuffer type items: Rely on little items you might use for Christmas stocking stuffers, such as new headphones, new supplies for whatever sport they play (like golf balls or tennis balls), or a few items he can use for hobbies (like grilling tools or colored pencils).

5.  Buy books for your bookworm sweetheart. If you’re dating a reader, hook them up with some new material. Do a little detective work about what they’re  currently reading and what they already have, and try to fill in the blanks with a similar book.

Take advantage of product recommendations. For instance, if you know your sweetheart loved a certain book, ask the clerk at your local bookstore for similar titles. Or, type the title into a service like Amazon and see what other readers bought after reading that one.

6.  If you’re not sure what to buy, get a gift card. Books are a pretty personal gift, and it can be tough to figure out what someone would enjoy reading. If you’re stumped, rely on a gift card. Offer to go shopping with them and make a date of it.Buy music-themed gifts if they are an audiophile. If your loved one is really into music, get them a present that’s in line with their interests.

7.  Here are a few more suggestions:

Write a poem or a love letter of appreciation. I know children and teens that saved such letters forever that their parents wrote to them.

Sure, you might tell them you love them, but it’s nice to have a physical object outlining how you feel, that they can revisit and read whenever they want. This is the perfect gift if you’re on a budget, because it’s the thought — and not the cost — that counts. For extra sentiment, write it out in your own handwriting, and pick a nice sheet of paper.

I’ve written this for him yet I know a lot of women that would love these ideas too.

 8.  Cook  for them. Take advantage of that old saying: “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Whether it’s a simple dessert or a full-fledged meal, presenting your sweetheart with food is a tangible demonstration that you care. Here are some timeless options:

Make them cookies. Don’t know their favorite kind of cookie? Now’s the time to find out! Or, if you want it to be a surprise, go with classic crowd-pleasers like chocolate chip or sugar cookies.

Whip up a decadent chocolate dessert. Try brownies, chocolate-covered strawberries, or an ambitious chocolate soufflé.

Set up a romantic meal. If you want to go all-out on food, make your guy or gal a beautiful Valentine’s Day dinner.

9.  Make a mixtape (or playlist). Putting together a mixtape of songs that are significant to your relationship can be a really meaningful, personalized present, and you don’t have to spend a ton of money to do it. Burn your creation onto a CD for a tangible gift, or send him a digital playlist if you both subscribe to online music services.

Be sure to include “your” song, if you have one. If you don’t, throw a handful of potential candidates into the mix.

Pay attention to subtext. You might really like the sound of a brooding break-up song, but putting it on your playlist might send your sweetheart the wrong message.

Keep it limited. Stick to around 10 songs, give or take a few. That way your loved one can listen to the whole list in one sitting, and remember that they’re meaningful later.

10.   Write your sweetheart a poem. If you enjoy writing and reading poetry, put your talents to use on an individualized poem. Or, write out your feelings in prose. If meter and rhyme aren’t your forte, that’s all right — a prose letter can be just as meaningful!

 

Borrow someone else’s words. If you’re struggling to write how you feel, rely on the experts for help. Find a famous piece of poetry, and copy it out in your own handwriting, or print it out and frame it in a pretty way. Some classics to get you started:

“Somewhere I have never traveled,” e.e. Cummings

Sonnet XVII, Pablo Neruda

“How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways,” Elizabeth Barret Browning

Shakespeare’s 18th Sonnet

“To a Stranger,” Walt Whitman

“Love’s Philosophy,” Percy Bysshe Shelley

“To Earthward,” Robert Frost

You could also borrow the lyrics of your favorite love song, if you have one. Songs are basically poetry set to music!

11.  Buy him or her a cologne that you like. Cologne is a classic Valentine’s Day present because, in theory, it’s a benefit to both of you — he’ll like smelling awesome, and you’ll like whatever scent you choose for him.

Keep in mind that scents don’t wear the same on everyone. Everyone’s body chemistry is slightly different, so a cologne that smells amazing on one guy might not work for another.

Pay attention to what he already likes. Odds are, your boyfriend wears something that he thinks works for him, so try to stay close to that. If he tends to wear woody, musky colognes, that’s probably a good choice for a gift. On the other hand, if he seems to prefer light, citrusy, clean scents, try to find a gift that’s in the same category.

12.  Pick up some new guitar picks if he’s a guitarist, or drumsticks if he’s a drummer.

Find a good pair of noise-canceling headphones if he listens to a lot of music.

Get him an iTunes gift card or a Spotify subscription.

13.  Support his gaming hobby. If your boyfriend is a big gamer, he’s almost guaranteed to like a gaming-themed gift for Valentine’s Day.

14.  Buy him a new game. See if there are any upcoming releases he’s had his eye on, or ask his buddies what he’s been dying to play. Or, just buy him credits. You can buy the gaming equivalent of a gift card depending on what platform he uses.

15.  Update his controller. Whether he uses a console controller or a mouse, buying him a new piece of hardware could be a great Valentine’s gift.

Remember; 

If Want to know how to finally make your Sweetheart happy.

To Finally understand what a person really wants based on their human psychology needs? 

Download my fun and easy audio CD A Perfect Solution to Valentine Gift Madness

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